Stop thinking through your genitals.


Squaler

[quote=Squaler;1487818]
There are black communities and societies where the absent father/ disunited parents is seen as a problem.Where we have a state system which is against black attainment in education it is much more important that education is carried out in the homes.learning is most effective in environments where there is a coesive force of both parents, father and mother.Say for instance that relationships do not work out,it doesn't and should not exclude collective responsibility in looking after the childs welfare.If we fail to do this we cannot blame the system for not overcoming our own difficulty.
There are too many black men out there, who somehow get some sense of achievement by impregnating women and yet they cannot show love and devotion to their children.

I can just about stomach this from a misguided man who is addressing his gender but from a woman its unacceptable. Remember. Just remember. For every man that is impregnating women there is a wotless/ slack and untidy/ dont give a stuff women out there who has no responsibilty to her unborn child /neither rudimentary judgement in how to sort the serial babyfather from a decent bredder. The circumstances in which some of our women chose to get pregnant is all too often pathetic. So just address black people as a whole and stop the tired wotless black man syndrome. That shit cant fly no more.

I'm going to come more in the defence of parents here... because we have to notice that wars are being waged against families and the assults are mostly coming from the business community which picked up dueing the thatcher years. This debate just isn't serious without taking a closer look at our entire society, which essential is business run.

My feeling is that parents need a bigger stake in the rising and educating of children. We now have both parents that have to go out into the work force and are still struggling just to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table and this extortion spills over all the way home, which leads to all sort of problems. We get television supervision for struggling children returning from school with parents still at work, then television relaxation for parents who understand they have to conserve their energies for work the next day, break up of marrages, etc.

But notice that for the business class, companies profits are rising, yet working hours have inceased and wages have fallen. Not enough emphasis is being put on solidary at the work place, like union organising, co-operative ownership, then maybe once parents understand solidary at work and the benifits it brings, then they'll have the energy to organising their schools and have a bigger stake rising and educating children and also understand solidary and co-determination within their immediate community.

[quote=Bredder Tukoma;1488106]Hello Brother,
Your assumption that I am female is wrong.I have declared in enough post that I am male.I think you are only surprised that I may have a minority popularist view amongst blackmen.Some how my father held this view and it has served us well whatever education system we might face.We believe the best influence is our mother and father and we will not be moving from that standpoint any time soon.Although my father was away from us in the early part of our infancy his influence was always spiritually near because our mother would articulate his care and involvement.
I have too often heard my fellow blackmen gloating and bragging about the amount of children by how many baby mothers as if it is some achievement.I haven't however seen many if any black women doing the same thing.I am not guessing here ,I am talking plain facts.What doesnt seem to cross the minds of these men is that it is easier to influence /participate with one family unit than a multiple.It just is not feasable.In the instances where there are single parents women are majority carers with men absent.
If we cannot put it across to our children that parental influence is essential during the formulative years of our children we are leaving them open to outside influences which will prove more dangerous.We can look at other groups who are outperforming us and invariably their family structure is much more stable.In the end they have greater expectation of their children so the children respond wirh better educational successes.
Giving ourselves excuses for failure is an hinderance to success.I am not for soft soap dilusions.Got to grip the bulls by the horn.


Squaler

Hello Bro

Sorry for the gender mistake. I read your poem and made an assumption. My bad.


I agree with the basis of your argument regarding both parental involvemnet etc etc. However...absent fathers is not a male only problem. Its the circumstances in which these children are born which is the problem. You cannot separate cause from effect. If there are high numbers of single parenthood in the black community then what does it say about the quality of relationships which spawn these situations. From I remember from biology men do not have babies. Men are not raping women wholesale and forcing them to have them either. How is it that a man with maybe 5 or 6 babymothers manages to continue to have children with different different mothers unless the women allow this. There are too many women out there with children from multiple fathers/ women who allow themselves to get pregnant in causla relationhsips/ women who dont want a Dad around / women who couldnt care less what circumstances their children are born into. You think if my daughter comes home and tells me she's pregnant that Im going to put the blame on the father. That if the father goes about his business because the realtionship was weak in the first place/ that Im going to offer sympathy because of the bad black man that she pick up with. Do these women not share responsibility seeing that if a women has a child it is her 100% that has most to lose. That invariably it is her who will bring up the child and have to cater for its emotional and economic needs. In these times of contraception/ are you telling me that all these women are innocent parties. No sah. Nuting nu go so. You want to address single parenthood then address the way people look at relationships and having children. Our women drop children like they're going shopping. With older women with an economic base its no problem to them as they think they can cater for the child emotional needs/ until that is the male child invariably hits teenager and bruck wild. And then they want the father to take a lead and in many cases want to surrender custody.

Stop this black man not catering and galist bollocks and lets look at why black man are not catering. Why so many of our women allow themselves to be pregnant by the local bad man/ serial galist/ sex addicts and genrally flash gits who aint defending nothing of substance which any women switched on could decipher in 15 minutes. Plenty man need to check themselves and plenty women need training out there. And they wont get it from their parents because too often their porent made the same mistake 20 years ago.

Hello Brother T,
As the saying goes ,it takes two to tango.So we are agreeing that between us (male and female) our children has an obstacle of our making.I would say that logic tells me if both parents are involved in the childs education then there is a better chance that child will succeed.You have not attributed the absenteeism of the father to any factor other than pass it off as a female inadequacy.I need as a man to address our own failures then we can have some credibility in critizing the woman ,then we might make some progress.
The gallist concept may differ between you and me on the way it might affect a situation.I maybe a "gallist" but I may not choose to impregnate women or the women I choose to have sexual relationship with are smart enough to have contraceptive protection.The problem associated with such a mindset and attitude
will differ in each case.We can enlarge the topic variables until the arguements becomes senseless and it becomes almost looking for reasons to fail.The soft option is always the indisciplined option,the discipline sacrifice we fail to rise to.We need to find the discipline to succeed.
Now you and I know the material provision for the black male is more difficult to attain,that should not excuse us from making another contribution in the childs welfare.If I am not working I should be educating myself in the meantime or engaging with my child because in theory I should have time on my hands.How many of us are educating ourselves when not working,investing in our
families.Engaging with our children insted of playing the gallist,or hanging about in groups talking uninspirational crap.
When my son entered,primary schoolo he was a fluent reader, he knew his times table,he was way ahead of his peers.This didn't come about by magic,it came about by encouragement and time put in attaining a goal we had set or were pursuing.It is attainable ,but we cannot leave it up to the system to get us there,we have to ensure by involvement.This needs both parent whether in a relationship or not as long as we have the common bond ,which is the child.
I have also mentioned in the past the undermining of children by racist teachers.Now thats another hurdle,but for each that is presented there is a solution.


Squaler