Reuben's thread along a similar theme reminded me about an office debate that was raging on Thursday...

How do you know when you're in love, some people felt you felt instictively whilst in the relationship and that this could be lifelong... I disagreed, i felt you don't really know that you were 'in love' until after the relationship is finished..

My feeling is it is only when looking back and reflecting on the relationship, that you fully realise that you were in love... I think its hard to tell when you're in 'love' and not 'in lust'..

So when do you know when you're in love?

what are the signs/feeling/behaviours?

is it possible to be 'in love' with more than one person?

Can you love someone and only one person for the rest of you're life?

NO right or wrong answers just want to hear thoughts and perspectives....

i think you shouldmerge the threads, i intended that post for all types of discussion on love, cos howonedetermines if they are in love or not is dependent on how its defined.

I never really feel love as an emotion but i know there must be something there because when I hear certain music and certain songs then only certain people would come into my mind.

As we all agree there is a difference between loving someone and being in-love…. to say that a person only knows they are in love after the fact is true, but only happens when two people are not in tune with each other and each other’s feelings. When two people are on the same page and open about their feelings then they will quickly discover that they are in love, and can enjoy the relationship WHILE they are in the relationship.
Then there is the ‘grass is always greener’ syndrome…. People often never realise what they’ve got until it’s gone, and by this time it may be too late, what can be learnt from a situation like this is too appreciate the person you're with, look for the signs of a ‘good man’ or ‘good woman’, whatever that means to you. However a person should be careful that they are not confusing lust or infatuation with love, these two are short term and die away quickly.
Well that’s my take on it anyway…smoking-devil

I think you can sometimes realise you love someone (as opposed to just liking them loads)after the relationship is gone. Sometimes, absence makes the heart grow fonder also............................

Personally, love may be influenced by what we see in the media. Look at all the movies and programmes that try to tell us how to feel.

There are many interpretations of love.

Some people may not love a person. They probably just love the way they make them feel.

Probably most of us. But in a subconcious way. Just think about it...how we "make love" is already shown to us in books and television...its like...nothing else is left...its like it is cliche.

Falling in lust is much more fun, this romantic love if it really does exist ( I know I've said this before, but hey) is a mental illness or like one.

Kunjufu I know I've never been into this romantic love that all these women seem to be on - sentimental love maybe and love out of respect definitely- probably explains why I've never eaten a woman and why I do not believe in unconditional love. Now I wouldn't say romantic love doesn't exist with me it's just not the decision maker when the crunch comes.

Personally i think thereare three kinds of people:

1) people who arent capable of falling in love.People whosehearts are so closed that love is nearly impossible.

2) people who can fall in love with someone to a certain extent but not completely and fully. I think that most people fit into this category. They love theperson they are with, but dont attach themselves competely for fear of getting hurt.

3) people who fall in head-overheels i'll die for you, i"ll kill myself" type of love

These people who become so emotionally attached to their signifigant other that it creates the "romeo and juliet" syndrom. This is the type of love we often see displayed in movies and what people seem to believe is true love.