Hey Girl, DON'T Worry bout dis aight! I know for a fact some guys are intimidated by gyals, because their scared of rejection, juss like you. But if you carry on with this fear you'll only ever wonder 'what if I spoke to him . . .' U know you are Beautiful so you DON'T Need to make up boyfriends okay, and it may be embarrassing to admit to your family and friends your not with him so juss say Its ended because it just wasn't working out

Be Patient, and the next time U see a BUFF Guy, Go For it



Good Luck

Yo Lady your post sounds real sweet. I knoz the problem you have cus my likklesistah had that too. If everything is really based round the words of your post then the truth is, you are too shy you drive the guys away with out knowing it. These days with the reaction of most black girls, black guys are very subtle with their approach. If a guy is smiling at you try smiling back if you feeling him, if he tries to eye lock you do the same from there on u would know hes on it, whether he comes to you or you go to him thats a different ting. However, ifnone of this goes through thats the end, uwould find out many, and I mean many guys have prevented themselves from approaching a girl because of the resistance of no reponse to such expressions. Sometimes you might not know it but your shyness may appear as rudeness. Im not just speaking from my lil sistahs experience, Ive also come across a number of queens who I use to be digging but never made an effort cus I thought they we in the least bit interested and then a couple of months or even years down the line they'll be like ' didn't you like me?' and you'd be like 'What? U was feeling me?'. Trust me, u dont want that feeling of finding out a guy that u liked used to like you to and nothing happened.



But anyways u r still young and as you say... pretty, somethings happen for a reason, maybe oneday you would look back and appreciate the fact that u still v-reg, many woman fake 2b what u r. niceone.gif

Believe me I know the problem. For me its not confidence, but I can't put my finger on what it is. I find the best way to approach somebody is to forget about the fact that you like them and just ask them a question or something completely innocently, like the time??? I find it nearly impossible to walk up to a girl that I like, especially if she keeps eye contact the whole way there. Normaly I would break off and walk away with nerves. But if I just clear my mind and just walk over with a big smile, with a sort like "HI" I find its really easy. I guess I am making myself feel much more in control of the situation by doing this, than thinking about what I gonna say, whats she gonna think....ect as I slowly walk over their.

But this brings me to my next point. If I see a girl comming over a little to strong (ie long glares) this can sometimes make me lose my nerve. So its very hard to get it right between getting thie attention and too much if they are not too confident. I hate the feeling though when I do because I hate myself for the fact that something I want so bad I turn away so easily. I find if I have spoken to a girl for like 5 minutes, then after that I feel really relaxed around her, but for the first 5 minutes its hell.

Also where do you go to meet guys. I find clubs and noisey places really hard to talk and stuff. Try going out with your mates and a group of guys together to a place where you can talk to them in a more comfortable enviroment with your friends around you. This is my favorite way, because it takes all the obvious parts of you fact you fancy somebody away and makes it easier to get to know somebody.

If it helps try and make friends first and then move in a bit closer. If a guy fancy's you friends or not he won't say no. Which is sort of different to girls, who see their male friends in a slightly different light to guys they fancy. Or so all my female friends tell me???

Hoped that helped.

Nick

ps. I'm 21 so its not an age related thing.

Thanks for your contribution to the thread. Good to see you didn't stoop down to such a low level and write something stupid.

yeh wats wrong wid u ppl the girl asks for advice and all u fools can do is take the piss mad-moonie

look girl i no how u feel u just need to go u to sum guys go out to/join sum clubs meet guys become friends, whats the worst that could happen wot they spit in your face!! cum on

if it helps just pretend ur sum 1 else (inside, no like name,age wateverdon't go ova the top with that)! or go sum where u no u neva gonna go again if it's that bad

p.s. eye contact always good!!

@ whyhate

Dont feel no way, nuff times man see a girl and assume she has a man anyway or they are too shy to come and talk to you.

Your friends may have a lot to say about man but i am sure you see the down side as well (them having next gyal / getting dissed etc) It is not all as great as it looks.

Just open your circles and meet people. Be yourself, because so much girls pretend to be something else for man, but you forget that if they choose to go out with you are you going to pretend every day so he wont see the real you??? A man HAS to like you for how you stay not what you CAN be.

Take this time to observe things so when your time comes you don't act desperately.

Another thing is prettiness has nothing to do with it. As much as men always go on about looks, they LOVE confidence more, that is why plenty girls who do not look all that get and keep nice guys, because those girls may believe in theirselves and that is a more attractive quality than a pretty girl who has low self esteem.

Peace~

@ WhyHate- girl ur post was so sweet, if I was with u where ur at I'd give u a hug.

All of these eeeeeeedyats talking about changing ur deodorant, getting a vibrator, looking in the mirror, or becoming a lesbian.... NEED TO GROW UP! Is this really what u people call constructive advice? Damn!

@ Why Hate- U may be feeling left out or even depressed but don't worry, I know this will sound patronising but you are only 17 yrs old, for the time being concentrate on gaining an education and accomplishing all that you wish to, realise ur ambitions (learn to drive, gain a qualification, a job etc...)u have so much time for relationships and such, u have ur whole life ahead of u and so much to look forward to. I admit being in a comitted relationship is a beautiful thing and so is the physical aspect of it but men are not the be all and end all (sorry guys).

You state that u are pretty and I don't doubt that you are, but now that you've established ur outer beauty make sure ur attitude, personality etc.... are also as beautiful as the exterior. Your worth does not depend on other peoples opinions or reactions to you it's about how you view urself, portray yourself, and how u interact. Good things come to he who waits, so baby ur time will come don't rush it.

It's all about self worth, self love, self respect, self assurance and self confidence, once you have obtained all of these you cant go wrong.

Hey Girl,Think if you were a boy would u want to go out with u.Plus i really dont think there was any need to invent a boyfriend.If ur prettier than ur m8s then why feel left out that u dont hv a man.All men try and do is oppress any way.They just want to have u on lock down. Be urself and be a proud black women.

God Bless
ps WHEN U HV UR 1ST KISS MAKE SURE THE MAN HAS NICE LLIPS NOT CRUSTY ONES.AND IF HE SLOBBERS OVER YOU THEN I BEG U 2 TELL HIM ABOUT HIMSELF.Plus keep as upd8ed with ur progress and let us know all the details.Im praying 4 u

A lot of things have been said already, but I'mma add somethin. what is sure is that you need to be more self-confident, for that, I've got a little advice that might be useful : if you're scare of going to a guy or talking to one, imagine him in an embarassing situation, naked or whatever goes on your mind ! And if he rejects you, never think you failed !! but tell yourself you don't loose anything !! There're a bunch of men on earth...

Lil frenchy put a pic up of yourself princess.

look gal i think you just answered your own problem. if ur not confident enough& u r too scared to express ur feelins u really ain't gonna get anyone u want to be with. (i know its 2004 and all but manz still ain't smart enough to read our minds). u other problem could be that u have an attitude problem cos u seem to think ur perfect& better lookin than ur frenz but if that was the case u probably wud have a man. denial can cause problems 4 many peeps. i think it's really important that u sit down& ask urself y u don't feel confident& if u find its only the man ting den i suggest u get over it, pretend ur confident because u'll start gettin desperate & lower ur standards to suit da man dem do want u. the other thing u could do also is with a couple of ur close honest friends& bring up the topic of boys& just ask them quite laid back what they think of u and if they ask y just say that u feel like a bit of a change& u want some advice& u might find that there is more things wrong with u than u thought or u mite find that there really isn't anything wrong (which i don't mean to be rude& say but there is something wrong with every1) &u just have to focus on make a few male friends cos when man see u wid dem they want u more. i hope i was of some help to u. stay blessed& don't give up!

p.s even if u get chirpsed by a breh u don't like become friends because it should help u become more confident about talkin to boyz etc.