virginity - Page 3

Real Roxanne · (#51 (**permalink**))

Oh lawd, listen I know the in's and out's concerning this subject so I really dont need a lecture cause everyones experiences and encounters are different. I have learned those morals of not being a sheep and yes I listen to elders who speak sense on the subject. People can be married or in a long term relationship and still be open to their partners not being faithful. The reality is that life is not perfect nor is an opinion unless its lived. My family I respect and follow because they do not take issues like these for joke. As for find a virgin and keeping her, what makes you so sure that you would be the only partner she would want for life huh??? Everyone has a mind and are responsible for their own actions even if they decide to have sex outside of marriage. Does not make a person bad or evil now does it. Alot of non virgins go on to have long lasting, healthy relationships. So again spare the lecture because I have more than enough positive relatives to give me sound REAL advice.

Richard Darial · (#52 (**permalink**))

Real Roxanne wrote:

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Oh lawd, listen I know the in's and out's concerning this subject so I really dont need a lecture cause everyones experiences and encounters are different. I have learned those morals of not being a sheep and yes I listen to elders who speak sense on the subject. People can be married or in a long term relationship and still be open to their partners not being faithful.

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IMO those people need help.Allowing your partner to cheat isthe equivalent of a woman allowing her man to hit her whenever he feels like it. Only people with loose morals would sit comfortably with such an arrangement.

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The reality is that life is not perfect nor is an opinion unless its lived. My family I respect and follow because they do not take issues like these for joke. As for find a virgin and keeping her, what makes you so sure that you would be the only partner she would want for life huh???

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Trust me. I'd be enough for her. Plus if she's never had a man before why should she even contemplate having more than one? You talk as if everyone is automatically corrupt. This simply isn't true.

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Everyone has a mind and are responsible for their own actions even if they decide to have sex outside of marriage. Does not make a person bad or evil now does it.

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It can. See. Sex is one of those things (like drugs) that can have side effects for those addicted to it. When one loosens up sexually there tends to be an overall loosening of morals. It's the easiest way for person to completely corrupt themselves.

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Alot of non virgins go on to have long lasting, healthy relationships. So again spare the lecture because I have more than enough positive relatives to give me sound REAL advice.

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I'm not lecturing you in particular. You're not really the target here. This is foruncompromisedyoung black people who are still virgins.

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You clearly do not fit into this category. Right?

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That's why it would be kind of you to bite your tongue from time to time. After all this is all being done in the interests of the young black community.

Real Roxanne · (#53 (**permalink**))

U need to read my post properly, not only u take things out of context your so far up your arse your no one to be offering advice like that. If your going to give advice then give it, put down your flipping ego and stop waffling on.

Richard Darial · (#54 (**permalink**))

Real Roxanne wrote:

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U need to read my post properly, not only u take things out of context your so far up your arse your no one to be offering advice like that. If your going to give advice then give it, put down your flipping ego and stop waffling on.

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Why the attitude? Did I say something to put you down? Yeah I probably did.

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Let me guess what it was.

queenbee · (#55 (**permalink**))

Virgin or not, along with sex comes responsiblity from not only the physical aspect but mental and emotional. Before engaging into any sexual activities make sure you are prepared to handle any and all aspects that come with it.

Real Roxanne · (#56 (**permalink**))

Richard Darial wrote:

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Real Roxanne wrote:

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U need to read my post properly, not only u take things out of context your so far up your arse your no one to be offering advice like that. If your going to give advice then give it, put down your flipping ego and stop waffling on.

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Why the attitude? Did I say something to put you down? Yeah I probably did.

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Let me guess what it was.

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ladyflaunt · (#57 (**permalink**))

Richard Darial wrote:

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Real Roxanne wrote:

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Richard whatever your name is how old are u?

Just because people have different opinions to you why do u always have to slate their thread. Its really silly actually, anyways im sure many people on Blacknet had sex before they were married so i dont see the big deal.

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You don't see the big deal because you're either someone who doesn't actually care about these things (in which case you shouldn't be posting repsonses here) or you're too young to realize doing this is a mistake.

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Sluts (male and female both)becomeso either becausethey're abused by their parents or guardians as kids or because they have no proper parents or guardians and/or are allowed or taught to do whatever they want.

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To avoid being either of these you need to follow simple rules. One of them is to get married before you lose your virginity, because if you don't there'll be nothing to stop you thinking the way stupid people do: ie. What's wrong with doing whatever I want?

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Oh and guess why adults abuse their own children. That's right. They learned to ignore simple rules from an early age and therefore do whatever they want.

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The rules are there to protect you, even if you've already broken them. Being a virgin isn't necessarily about never having sex. It's about how pure you are and if you only ever have sex with one person, who can fault you?

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oh wateva man not evry 1 has da same opinion as u

cookie#1 · (#58 (**permalink**))

I say to each his own. At the end of the day a lot of people have sex before marriage and break the law by having sex before 16 (females that is cos there is no age of consent 4 a boy). My mother always told me that as a yopung black woman I should alwayz remember that my body is a temple contain something precious just as with all my posessions I wouldn't just let anyone use them so I shouldn't just let any man use me and break my virginity. Sex is a mature, physical and emotional thing but by having sex you don't become mature. I think that everyone should just make the decision to have sex when they feel they are ready because at the end of the day only you know wot u r feelin. In saying that I don't think people really should start having sex before they are 15 or at least able to talk anout it openly with their partner. If you value, respect and love yourselves that will reflect in the decisions you make.

yom bom · (#59 (**permalink**))

i totally agree wid u CC n i ave been in dat situation.After uv been in a relationship 4 a while n da guy finds out dat u dnt want 2 ave sex wid dem dey r quick 2 leave.At da end of da day if da guy says he loves u as much as he protests he shud be willing 2 wait untill u r ready.

sweeniesforever · (#60 (**permalink**))

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"Then you better become religious and change your views, because the way you're talking you'll end up old and lonely. Young people don't realize how quick the aging process actually is... until they do.

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IMO only white girls think and talk the way you do."

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How DARE you tell her to become religious and change her views?? i don't know how old you are but this wise older person act is pretty disgusting considering your telling an open minded, young person WHAT to think. what she is saying is more than true. waiting is right for some people, for others it isn't. sex is incredible and intimate, but it is also amazing fun. i lost it at the right time for me, although i was quite young, and you had betteralert the church elders immedidately as i was only 15... anyway.. i had a relationship with this amazing person for 2 and a half years. it ended as relationships will. it broke my heart into tiny, shattered, seemingly unmendable pieces and i fell apart... but hey look at that.. i recovered and have experienced so much of life without him tying me down. and that includes sex with other people.

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and ya know what? sometimes it's JUST sex... as for whatever half wit who said it's like giving away your arm.. just try it. wait for sumone right but realise they won't always be there... so realise u may feel pain eventually.. but everyone needs to experience these things. you may never meet the one and get married.. maybe none of us will... but if i do meet him.. i'm pretty sure he won't be a virgin. so just do it. it is fun, and no woman should ever be judged for experimenting.

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Adrian7 · (#61 (**permalink**))

Firstly I apologize if this thread was directed onlyat women. I am a 19 year old male and I have not yet lost my virginity, the reason for this is because like several here I value marriage and would prefer to wait until marriage. I do not mean to impose my values on anyone but having escaped my highschool years without falling to the pressure of having sex or trying drugs or alcohol I am hoping I can provide some valuable insight, especially for those my age and younger. As a Christian I value absolute truth, a truth not reliant on my own or societies perception of truth, but a Truth that stands for all people at all times. This may seem a bit extreme but it is my honest faith, many of you here have stated that you engaged or plan to engage in your first sexual experience when "you are ready." Of course, following such a principle means that you are subjecting yourself to a relative mindset, a mindset where the value and signficance of behavior i.e. right and wrong, are subject to your own interpretation. This of course, in itself is largely the product of a free and individualistic western culture andnot entirely your own creation, but back to the mainpoint. Subjecting anything to a relative interpretation can be quite dangerous, for indeed if you were to look up liberty and justice in a dictionary, you would find that firstly liberty is: the condition of being free from control by others; and justice is: the fact or condition of being just or fair, yet in the hands of America's founding fathers liberty and justice were subjectto an interpretation that strayed from their absolute truth. Many such as Thomas Jefferson (Jeffersonwas involved in the slave owning culture and economy)did not letliberty and justice extend to African Americans because it would not benefit theSouth's economy, nor did they extendliberty and justice to women due longstanding cultural beliefs and practices. If you read their definitions, clearly liberty and justice do not mention the exclusion of certain people but imply all working or living within the same system/nation. So why were non-white males and allfemales excluded from justice and liberty? Because of a relative interpretation of the two words, an interpretation which acted to the benefit of those attempting to define and apply the concepts rather than to all people as the absolute truth of both words (liberty and justice) clearly state. In fact, if you look up civil and womenrights movements through history you will see that both groups actually used the constitution and declaration of independenceas a defense for their movement as both clearly use terms as "liberty," "justice," "inalienable rights," and "freedom" which at the core or the absolute truth of such terms do not exclude anybody on the basis of sex or race. The point of this example is to show that using a relative principle as "when I am ready," despite the basis in your own opinion, may actually be a diservice to you. I sincerely hope that all of you, particularly those of you under 21 take a good long look at your values and make a choice that is not only respectful and wise for yourself but for others also. I wish you all the best and may all ofyou rise above the pressure of peers, society and surprisingly our biggest enemies, ourselves.

Peace & God bless

-Adrian7