Marriage Would you do it?

sharlleen · (#1 (**permalink**))

Around 13 years ago my uncle got married to his love of his life. They were the same age as I am now(22 years) when they exchanged rings. But now I have noticed that there are less people getting married at a young age or any age. I only have 3 friends that have gotten married and they seem to be happy.

So why arent people getting married any more? Not just at 22 but at any age? Is it because they is such thing as a divorce? or poeple are just not with or find Mr right or Mrs right?

thinktwice · (#2 (**permalink**))

I think that in your uncles day as it was with my parents, that thier was a lot less choice and people were generally more easily pleased.. The society we live in now encourages us to change that with which we are not happy. If we have an ugly pair of shoes we simply go to the shop and buy a new pair. We carry this atribute into our realtionships...

As people we are constantly searching for our MR/MRS right... Which can lead us to never truelly settle into our current relationship for fear of missing out on what might be. Totally missing the fact that what might be, may be, what we have already, but havent realised yet.

Why arewe not gettin married anymore... because we are becoming ever increasingly more difficult to please and are never content with what we have... instead choosing to wait for what we wish we had...

LadyDay · (#3 (**permalink**))

i got married at 22 i am now 24 and 1 and 1/2 yrs into my marriage. i think that alot people tend not to get married because of commitment issues. a marriage is not something to be taken lightly. plus there is more to a marriage then seeing someone.

these days it seems people just dont look opn marriage as they used to

just ask · (#4 (**permalink**))

its not a case of people not wanting to settle down the fact of the matter is people dont trust people these days the way they used to back in the day ....

the world has changed alot and people now see that there is more to life than just finding one partner and being with them for the rest of their lives ..people want to experiment and see whats out there and be able to say yeh ive seen it all before they think about settling down like that.

also back in the days people used to just get married and not really worry as much about being financially ready and all that to be married buy a house and have children and all that ..nowadays alot of women just want to work and do their thing ..and as for the men we all know what they want to do ..sleep around

most people of todays day and age arent ready for marriage

facetygal · (#5 (**permalink**))

Some people don't need a piece of paper to show their love and commitment for each other. If they been together 20 odd yrs, then they are more than likely gonna stay together for the rest of their lives, and don't see the point in going through the whole marriage rigamorole.

Another reason could be that some people change as soon as they have a ring on their finger. Again people that have been a couple for many yrs then get married, don't even last past their first yr, because someone's personality changes which causes problems.

I intend to get married in the future, I am 22 now and don't feel the need to rush. I only intend to be married once so I need to make sure it is for the right reasons and with the right person. I would get engaged at this age, but would definitely want a long engagement to get to know the person first. We would have to live together first as well.

Kunjufu · (#6 (**permalink**))

facetygal wrote:

Quote:

Some people don't need a piece of paper to show their love and commitment for each other. If they been together 20 odd yrs, then they are more than likely gonna stay together for the rest of their lives, and don't see the point in going through the whole marriage rigamorole.

Another reason could be that some people change as soon as they have a ring on their finger. Again people that have been a couple for many yrs then get married, don't even last past their first yr, because someone's personality changes which causes problems.

Quote:

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Facetygyal; I must disagree with you, its not about a piece of paper, the fact that marriage has been to relegated to this concept speak volumes about where we are at as a people than the institution od marriage..

If you're committed to someone long term, then I would ask what is the problem in declaring that commitment publicly, Marriage is not just about two people but the union of two families as one tribe one clan.. It s that start whereby we develop and extend our family circle... I think people tend to forget this very important aspect, it is also an important milestome, indicator of family history that is vital to the fabric of our future children's development.. Where we can say hey this is the time I declared my union to your father to your mother to the world.. It is as important as parent attending your graduation, or other important family events..good or bad these are the experiences that build foundations..

The fact that some people take marriage lightly is sad, when I see shows like Bridzilla, when event overtakes the actually meaning and context of marriage, it is hardly surprising that people who do this tend to have short relationships.. But the problem i suggest lays with the individual and not the institution.

Blackbeauty: makes a good point in her last post.. The amount of stories i'm now hearing about cohabiting women losing everything, on the death of their partner is frightening... I personally would not advocate this, and as I man i personally think it is the height of disrespect to live with a woman for twenty odd years andnot be prepared to marry the mother of my children..

Lucas... · (#7 (**permalink**))

mmmmmmmmmm.... marriage.... for me mmmmmmmmmm

I dunno.... gonna take one hell of a woman... to chain me down....

but as a general rule... i never say never....

facetygal · (#8 (**permalink**))

@ kunjufu & blackbeauty

I know it's more than a piece of paper, I meant some people see it in that way, as a reason why they don't get married. They have already made a commitment to each other in their own way. In the case if one person dies, I think if the other person can prove they were living together as common law husband and wife, then they would be entitled to something.

just ask · (#9 (**permalink**))

too many people are getting married just because they have children with their partner ..im sorry but i dont see that to be a good reason to get married u should marry someone becuse u love them not because the woman happens to be pregnant or bcause u happen to share children together ...this is why alot of couples are getting married and divorced after like a year because they never married out of true love they just did it because it is seen as the right thing to do

LadyDay · (#10 (**permalink**))

@black beauty in regards to the woman who lost her live npartner in iraq and was entitled to no pension i do not see a problem with that. however the child is the one who is entitled to it. couple who cohabit should never be put in the same context of a marriage. marriages have existed from the days of adam and eve and so they will remain. likewise much of the rendering of marriage to paper is probably due to the sign of times. gays want the same rights as married couples. which i feel would be wrong. a marriage is a holy union (and legal union) between a man and woman.

God intended for marriages to exist. so they shall. When i got married my cousin said 'now you dont have to hide from God when your with your man. as he is your husband you have God's blessing.blk3hug2

dixondiva · (#11 (**permalink**))

personally i don't want to get married, i think there are other ways of showing commitment other than saying vows and having a ring, it all seems like to much stress. But people keep telling me when i find the right man i will probably see things differently.confused3

Miss Brighter Days · (#12 (**permalink**))

FERNANDO - THIS IS WHAT I FOUND ON THE INTERNET!

Another Knowles is making news. Beyonce's 17-year-old sister, Solange, has married.

She wed Daniel Smith in a ceremony in the Bahamas over the weekend, according to her record company, Columbia Records.

Beyonce, her parents, Mathew and Tina Knowles, and Destiny's Child member Kelly Rowland were in attendance.

"I am excited about this new phase in my life," Solange said today.

"I am very happy and feel truly blessed to have the unconditional love and support of my parents and my entire family."

Solange released her debut CD, Solo Star, last year.

She'll make her feature film debut in Johnson Family Vacation, due out later this year, her record label said.

Smith, a college football player, and Solange are natives of Houston

IYALLAH. · (#13 (**permalink**))

I got married at 18, i was very mature. I had been living by myself already for 2 years, worked, went to college, drove and was looking after myself. Solange may be pregnant God knows, and it is a young age i agree, but we know getting married at an older age does not guarantee anything.

Marriage is a lovely thing thing when the two people are willing to work and are genuine towards each other and how they feel about each other and take it seriously. Doesn't always have to be seen as a trap.

I agree that not everyone is cut out for the ceremony but some declaration towards the person you love and wish to be with for the rest of your life whatever the ceremony would be nice.

Peace~