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Village Newbie
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Posts: 76
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: ATL, , USA
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19-03-04, 04:57 PM
Don't ask what you don't want to know...
They say there ain't no hope for the youth/ So the truth is, there ain't no hope for the future...
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Villager Senior
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Posts: 1,002
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: , ,
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19-03-04, 06:03 PM
I dont think people should ask each other that. I dont answer it when i am asked, not becasue of shame, but because it has no bearing on what we are about and where we are going.
Girls always lie anyway!! All man want to hear is 2 and 3.....purrrrrleeease!!!
Doesnt even warrant wanting to know about disease becasue you can still sleep with one person and have caught something, so what is the point of asking??
Peace~
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Villager
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Posts: 268
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: LONDON, , United Kingdom
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19-03-04, 06:41 PM
lol, I've asked my man and he cant even finish counting so cha. lol. Seriously though men are men and moreover men can and do differentiate between meaningless sex and love so in my book a man with a lot of previous partners is standard. I believe it should not matter how many girls a man has had in the past, as long as he was doing his shit safe and aint bringing no disease to my bed (clinic trip demand????), as PAST is the key word. I am the FUTURE and the PRESENT so a mans past conquests are not of much significance. Some girls do lie, personally I dont see the need to, a man aint perfect so what makes him think you have to be?
One Love
The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice, The darker the flesh the riper the fruit.
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Super Moderator
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Posts: 2,155
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: , ,
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20-03-04, 11:59 AM
yes - it absolutely would bother me.....it speaks to a person's character.
A promiscuous person has not learnt/practised the skills of monogamy. Therefore, in most instances, a promiscuous person before marriage, will be a promiscuous person after marriage. Even if u dont marry him, I have no doubt in my mind that a promiscuous person is more likely to cheat on you.
Having, said that, I would not necessarily leave the relationship....but it would be at the back of my mind......
What is your life worth?
If you think that the only way you can survive is in the misuse of people,
then you haven't even begun to think about what it means to be human. ~ Dr C.T.Vivian
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Villager
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Posts: 936
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: , , USA
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21-03-04, 07:21 PM
Yes it would bother me because I would feel that he had a problem with s#x in general.
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Villager Senior
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Posts: 1,002
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: , ,
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22-03-04, 11:55 AM
Happiness wrote:
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yes - it absolutely would bother me.....it speaks to a person's character.
A promiscuous person has not learnt/practised the skills of monogamy. Therefore, in most instances, a promiscuous person before marriage, will be a promiscuous person after marriage. Even if u dont marry him, I have no doubt in my mind that a promiscuous person is more like to cheat on you.
Having, said that, I would not necessarily leave the relationship....but it would be at the back of my mind......
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The thread is entitlted how much does a partners sexual past bother you. If someone has been promiscuous in their li
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fetime, it does not mean they are promiscuous now and forever Amen. It should not reflect ontheir present character unless they are presently doing it.
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Most men / women may be promiscuous in their time, but people can change. If they were still the same then that would be different, but they may have grown up to see the error of their ways and should not be judged accordingly.
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Villager
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Posts: 268
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: LONDON, , United Kingdom
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22-03-04, 12:38 PM
Happiness wrote:
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yes - it absolutely would bother me.....it speaks to a person's character.
A promiscuous person has not learnt/practised the skills of monogamy. Therefore, in most instances, a promiscuous person before marriage, will be a promiscuous person after marriage. Even if u dont marry him, I have no doubt in my mind that a promiscuous person is more like to cheat on you.
Having, said that, I would not necessarily leave the relationship....but it would be at the back of my mind......
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I agree with Iyallah and would also like to add that men can change if they want to. It's not that they can't change. The common misconception is that women can change a man (thats why they waste their time trying to). A MAN HAS TO WANT TO CHANGE FOR HIS OWN REASONS. Those reasons may include you, they may not.
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You speak of promiscuous past, but I would rather a man who had been promiscuous in his past (past being the key word) and therefore has been there done that and sees no allure or curiosity (like my man), rather than getting with a man who has never had 'his fill of girls' so to speak and hasn't got all that out of his system, as I believe this type of man would give more trouble in the long run in regards to wanting to explore the unknown, curiosity,experience life as such....etc. Right or wrong thats my view
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The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice, The darker the flesh the riper the fruit.
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Villager
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Posts: 268
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: LONDON, , United Kingdom
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22-03-04, 03:56 PM
Fernando wrote:
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well cutie, unfortunately, your right. a man who hasnt had his fair share of women, is more likely to cheat. which means that he's at astage where a relationship is not the best thing for him.
If, in a situation like that, then you need to understand that, more likely than not, he will have a forever roving eye and chetaing could be an option.
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I know this Fernando, lol, I may be relatively young but I like to believe I'm adequately clued up where those of ur gender are concerned, lol. Seriously though I do believe what I wrote in my previous post and stick by it. My man always talks about 'in his hey day' and when 'he had nuff girls' he's a eedyat, lol, but we can laugh about it together and thats good. Cheating, having numerous women etc holds no appeal or allure for him anymorebecause he's been there, he always tells me he's changed his life for me (aaahhh) and his hey day is in his past and I believe him. Having already done all that, he can (and is) settle(d) down, it's that simple. There is of course a miniscule minority who will NEVER grow up, but what can we do. I'd rather have a man who has a promiscuous PAST and has put it behind him, than a man with a squeaky clean past who's just itching to get out there and satiate his curiosity/urges.
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The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice, The darker the flesh the riper the fruit.
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Villager
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Posts: 268
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: LONDON, , United Kingdom
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23-03-04, 11:10 AM
Fernando wrote:
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But doesnt it bother you when he talks about his past or her past in a way that makes them sound like they had more fun then, compared to what they're having now?
My girlfriend is bi-sexual so when she talks about her past, i sometimes have to ask whether she's talking about male or females. But i'm not that bothered about her past, because its just that....her PAST! exactly!
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It doesn't bother me when he talks of his past, and he doesn't make it sound like he had more fun, I guess its just a connection we have. I'm aware I am his present AND his future, any girl he had before is just the past. Incidentally I am a very jealous person by nature so if I say something doesn't bother me, it truly doesn't cos if it did he'd know about it. lol
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The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice, The darker the flesh the riper the fruit.
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Villager Senior
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Posts: 1,002
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: , ,
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23-03-04, 01:17 PM
@ Fernando
Hold up (wait a minute...)!!!!!!
Your girl is bisexual?? Do you think her lie for women will disappear? Aren't you bothered or does that excite you?
Peace~
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Villager Senior
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Posts: 1,002
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: , ,
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23-03-04, 04:31 PM
lol !!
I can be like that in relationships (i am not bi though), i am cool with a man looking at a next girl, just don't brock your neck!!! lol ...........I think most women look at women more than men do, because we notice all kinds of things!! Trust!!
What would your advice be to me if i said i was dealing with a bi man and he looks at men with me etc.???
The only reason i asked, is becasue you sound like you are plannign to be together for a while, and what happens when her urge for being with a woman come? Are you going to say it is ok for her to have sexual acts with othr women and come home to you??
PEace~
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Villager Senior
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Posts: 1,002
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: , ,
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23-03-04, 04:32 PM
@ Nando
Make sure you dont mention that bit to your dad!!!
Peace~
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Village Newbie
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Posts: 22
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: , ,
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