hi. i got a couple of questions 4 yall. basically i grew up in a mostly white area n whereva i go im usually da only black person there so as youd expectmost of ma friends r white, (bt iidentify wit black culture more than some of the other blacks in ma area) even tho i dontreally like em cos of past experiences. from growin up wit dem i used to get a lotofstick back in da day n they always used to diss black cultureso i neva used to spk to a lot of pple. I went awayto uni & then dropped out. When i came back to ma area all of a sudden theyd started listenin to eminem n hiphop so they started tlkin to me. Even though they dont reallyopenly diss black pple nymore, they still come out wit remarks that make me question wat they really think ofmeeg. blatant xenophobia + they say stuff like " y is it dat if i go to most black pple n say can i call u a ****** they wanna beat me up bt ur not like dat ur alright". As a black man, n a foreigner i wanna speak up bt from where i spent most of ma life in this part ofessex i've come to learn that its best to keep quiet even though bein silent makes me feel like imbein anuncle tom which is summin dat i dont like.

as a result of the above me & ma mum alwaysargue bout y we couldnt livein a more multicultural area & she hates & cant understand yi choose tochat bareslang even though ialso speak da queens english wen i have to. Wen i went away touniall thepple i spoke to was from london btthey acted funny towards me as well cos they didnt think there was ny black pple in essex so i ended up drinkin + smokin a lot then iand thendropping out. I transferred to uel n have found dat da situation is da same pple r willin to speak to me up until they find out where im from. I cant help da way i am n its gettin me down dat pple just assume dat im a certain wayn dont give me a chance b4 they get to kno me. in a weird way iv found dat white folks (even tho they say stuff dat makes me stop to think wait a minute)r nowmore willin to tlk to me than black pple are. this is difficult 4 me to accept cos i havent really met nyone dat i can relate to n as a result im startin to think dat black folks r wankers even tho i shdnt cos im a black man maself.

has nyone got ny advice on how i can deal wit dis situation cos its drivin me mad

Yeah stop being a gimp and be yourself. Then you'll be happy.

Living your life trying to fit in and please other people.

Yeah a real good way of living that.

Shame you won't grasp what I've said until you've retired though, unless you face some mind shattering life experience before then.

Seek your true identity and not a facade that will give you atemporary peace of mind.

i hear ya pple. thanx 4 da advice.

You could by not typing like that

has anyone ever encountered any racism whilst trying to get involved in semi professional football (soccer). If so how have you handled the situation. I've found that wherever i go in my area i've done stuff that other players aren't up for doing even though i'm one of the better players and everyone sees it. Unfortunately, the only role that im being allowed to play is that of the waterboy.

his royal pimpness? sounds like ur being took fror a B*tch to me.... waterboy, lol. on a real tho i kno one girl like u in my predominantly white area an she lets white ppl walk all over her. she's a CoCo-bounty to da maximum an i feel sorry 4 her... i tried 2 b friends wit her an bring her in 2 da group but she was jus so white! i think after a while of rolling wit dem u become like dem an its harder to intergrate wit black ppl without sticking out like a sore thumb.