Would You Adopt?

BrooklynGal · (#1 (**permalink**))

My husband and I are plotting on start a family soon and have been thinking about adopting a child in addition to having our own.

I used to be a high-school teacher and he still is, and so we have seen the effects of single-parent or foster care on Black children in New York. We both feel that it’s important that we adopt. Actually, we think it would be a sin if we didn’t. And we’re not going the celebrity route and adopting from elsewhere (though we would adopt a Black child from anywhere in the world readily). We're set on an African American child.

I would like to adopt a young child (toddler) and am a little hesitant about taking on a pre-teen or teen since from my teaching days, I am well aware that sometimes with children who have come out of horrendous situations, one can’t really reverse the emotional defects they may carry - especially when they are already 'grown'. A lot of the kids I dealt with while teaching (and many that my husband deals with today) come out of a history of severe sexual abuse. one of my worries is that if we should adopt an older child, they may 'act out'.

Another reason I'm not too keen on an older child is that I'm not that patient… I tend to snap faster than ‘dialogue’, and so with an older child with 'issues', I might not be the best mother.

My question is:

Would you adopt? And if so, why, and what ages would you adopt. Also, male or female child, and why?

And if not, what would stop you from adopting?

Thanks.

jett Black · (#2 (**permalink**))

Personally I wouldn't adopt.

But this is because I also don't think I want to bear a child of my own.The window for my choice in this regard will soon be closed and when it is,I won't be heartbroken.

Let me put this another way,which some may find to get their heads around.I love my children so much,I won't even CONCEIVE THEM!

There's no way I'll inflict upon any child of the mine,the "business" of this planet,it's too foul.

However,I definitely would foster.I feel like I have enough cool things about me and a fair bit of wisdom to impart that I could be a good springboard for a young black child to go out there and deal with life.

I applaud you for considering it though Brooklyn Gal.And also have fun creating your own.

BrooklynGal · (#3 (**permalink**))

Thanks Jet.

It’s high time I started having some chirrens. But I hear you on the business of this world. Sometimes I wonder why the hell I’d wanna bring a child into this mess.

But I think I could raise a cool kid.

Fostering is a good idea, especially when the foster parent is doing it for the right reasons and not just for money. Do y’all have those Big Brother or Big Sister programs over in the UK?

jett Black · (#4 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrooklynGal

Thanks Jet.

It’s high time I started having some chirrens. But I hear you on the business of this world. Sometimes I wonder why the hell I’d wanna bring a child into this mess.

But I think I could raise a cool kid.

Fostering is a good idea, especially when the foster parent is doing it for the right reasons and not just for money. Do y’all have those Big Brother or Big Sister programs over in the UK?

I think we do have something similar if not the same as Big Brother,Big Sister over here.

You know I didn't even know folks got paid for fostering until very recently(naive huh?)I thought folks had to prove they had the means and then they would get support in terms of counselling for the child and such.
Anyway the monetary concern is of no interest to me,if I fostered it's because I think it will be beneficial to the child and me.

Yeah mate,go on ahead and knock out those chirrens,you should do some fertility action so you can pop out 4 and be done with,ya feel me?,lol.

Or at least get your freeze on and get some youngster to push some more out for you when you're ready.

BrooklynGal · (#5 (**permalink**))

Lol.

Honey, times is hard.

We'd need a whole lotta chedda to have four in one go hehehe.

If we had them like that, we'd move to Kentucky, Oklahoma or some funny town in the Mid-West where life is cheap.

Back in the day, I Big-Sistered when I was in college. It was fun. I still keep up with the girl I mentored who's now in college herself and doing well, despite having a baby when she was seventeen. She was in elementary school when I used to take her around with me.

All kids need is someone to look up to. Not the usual shady-ass folks and predators that are swilling all around.

Equaliser · (#6 (**permalink**))

I say go ahead and adopt.

Children just want to feel loved and protected.
I would say that is their right and to any black person willing and able to adopt to give a child a fair start in this world I say God bless ya.

Watching those poor children in Haiti who will be without parents.....

If I had the room and means, I think I would adopt a young female child.
I already sponsor a little girl.
Why a girl? Because I feel passionate about girls getting an education!

Agu Bu Oji- · (#7 (**permalink**))

Always wanted a big family, may move away from mine one day so adoption would probably be something I'd consider, still not sure what country I'd be in though.

Agree with Equalizer, it should be something all Afrikan families consider.

knight_rider09 · (#8 (**permalink**))

I would definately be open to adoption!

MsPnutt · (#9 (**permalink**))

i would definitely adopt. hubby and i have discussed it and as well as having our own, we plan to adopt 1 maybe 2 kids. my mother fosters 2 teen boys at the moment, they have been with her for 2.5 yrs and they r doing very well.

its something everyone should consider, i see how fulfilling its been for my mother and my siblings and i love our foster brothers very much, and i cant wait to see them grow into amazing men.