Originally Posted by Vezz.

He put Baby into my bed watching tv, then left. He's done this all week. When I hear Baby stirring I ask him to come downstairs, and gently let him know Daddy's gone for the night, but will be back tomorrow. When all's said and done he loves his son, so I'm trying to help Baby get through this.

I'm scared. My youngest son needs his Dad, but how can I cement this if his Dad won't talk to me? I can't just change the locks as this is still his house too.....because he won't talk to me. Baby doesn't even cry anymore that he's not here, but I know if I say this to him he'll say it's because I've bad-mouthed him.

I'm crying as I'm so frustrated. It seems like anything I do will hurt someone, and I'm desperate not to be the B.i.i.c.t.h.

Originally Posted by Vezz.

Sis Maat :-), you know the deal

Number One Son is with his Dad this week. However I have the incessent 24 hour chatter of a 4 year old to deal with. My car was being fixed today and I had to get to a client on public transport with Master Chatterbox in tow......what a time. Plus we had to walk uphill and downhill so had plenty of exercise!

Baby comes into my bed and I don't realise until he starts stroking me and waking me up. Maybe he's unsettled I don't know. The plus side is we go down to Grenada next month, so I'm hoping that will help recharge my batteries.

Originally Posted by safetyblitz

BP:

When you have a family you will understand. It is not the matter that if she earns more, but being a man. If you can't pay for the house at least pay for all the food and utlities.

IN this case she said it was 50/50. As a man, I think it is your job to pay the house note period. That is usually the largest bill and as a man it is your duty to take on the largest note.

But in this case, the man seems more of a man-child raised by a woman who catered to his every need.

You can't come into a house with a woman with a kid and expect to raise only your child. You are a role model to that other child whether you like it or not and when you decided to marry her you became responsible for that other child as much as you are for his mother. That is just what being a married man is.

As a married man with kids you can't put yourself first, if you do, you are only teaching your kids to do the same with their kids. Girls marry men who emulate their father they usually date others but they usually marry a man with the same qualities as their fathers and we men when we stay home with a dad who was family first 8 times out of 10 we do the same or learn from that man's mistakes in trying to raise a family.

So if a man is not paying the bills, shucking his responsibility, and not making a financial contribution to the house what is he teaching his son and step son?

Even if the boys do not follow his footsteps he has not left them a bedrock to fall on. Has he shown them how to talk to a man, how to raise a son, how to take care of your mate as the stronger one in a relationship, how to do anything but slide by? Now the boys will have to figure this out by themselves.

A man goes a long way in the life of a boy. even if you are making the boy take out the garbage only on a regular basis you are teaching him some responsibility or when the boy does good on his report card and you congratulate him. You can take a boy to any sport and just talk about the game and he will be happy just to be out with you even a 20 year old. Young men seek approval from older men and will learn from an older man if the older man is wise enough when to see the kids ears are opened or closed.

Vezz has a 55 year old child TO ME in a number of ways and not because of the way he handles his bills, but even the womanly (yep I went there) way he subtly suggested that she get his work van fixed.........WTF?!?!? You are going to tell me that you suggest your woman deal with mechanics for your truck? I mean he works in a trade and can do a trade for trade swap with mechanic. Instead he hints around something needing to be fixed like a woman. I expect something like that from a woman but that is feminine wiles and it is a way they remnid us to do something without nagging us. That is how women communicate when they ask/but don't ask initially.

This dude plays mental games and because he knows she loves him, he continues to play mental games even to the fact of him trying to hurt her more now in her latest post where he refuses to return her calls.

A woman as talkative and emotonal as Vezz he knows her and what he is doing and it goes far beyong the house note.

Vezz:

Is he a mama's boy?

Does his mama approach you with his problems instead of dealing with him?

Does his mama cover him mostly instead of him treating her mostly?

If you answer yes to two or more man-child

Originally Posted by Vezz.

Originally Posted by Vezz.

Originally Posted by Vezz.

Originally Posted by Le Moor

He sounds like a very proud man, "proud" in the context of it being one of the "deadly sins".