There are those among us who believe that physical punishment is detrimental to our kids, but there are those that believe it's a beneficialway of instilling discipline.

What are your views on parental discipline?

[color=navy]My views.

[color=navy]There are 2 types of parental punishment. a) a slap on the back of the hand b) beating

[color=navy]I do dot agree with beating. Violence breeds violence. A slap on the hand. Well where do u find the boundary? My sis slapped her son in this way and he slapped her right back. Children copy what they see andI think it depends on the child. If s/heis the kind of child to slap ppl back at school or somethingand not be told, then noI dont agree with it. If the child knows whos boss and it does the job it was supposed to do, thenI dont see a problem with it. I think its all individual and every child has different needs. Some chldren will listen to reason or will be negotiated with.Depends on age.

[color=navy]Also where does punishment for the child stop and the parents outlet for fustration with life start? One day my mum came home in a BAD mood. I said one thing wrong and she gave the back of my legs a good seeing too! She aint a bad mum, shes human and this only happened once, but for some children this is an every day thing.

@ Prince Hakeem (my ghetto fabulous brother )

I have to say that some kids need to get their behind beat to know they must stop and some just need to be told once by a stern voice. All children are different thats why one method is not the best method for all. I talked about this before on another forum and I can clearly remember a time I was smacked by my mother before she even warned me to stop and I thought that was not fair because all she had to do was tell me and I would've stopped immediately. Now my brother on the other hand well he used to push my mother to the limits didn't even stop when he saw her or my father going for the belt then WHACK WHACK WHACK he got hit so hard it was like he travelled to another dimension and came down with a thud, still few weeks later the routine started again.

I remember I used to look at him and think what is wrong with him can't he hear can't he feel them licks, then one day when my father was beating him my father stopped and said you know what let me and you have a quiet chat. At the time I didn't know what they talked about because my daddy locked the room but all I know is my brother come out there like he had seen a ghost and from that day he behaviour was different.

Years later when talking I brought this up and asked my brother what happened and he said my Dad took out his wallet gave him £10 and told him to pack his bag and leave he doesn't want him in the house no more, and infront of him phoned all the relative and friends and told them what he is doing and they must nottake him in. So for my 10 year old brother at the time that was the remedy the fear of being outcaste all on his own.

Years later when talking I brought this up and asked my brother what happened and he said my Dad took out his wallet gave him £10 and told him to pack his bag and leave he doesn't want him in the house no more, and infront of him phoned all the relative and friends and told them what he is doing and they must nottake him in. So for my 10 year old brother at the time that was the remedy the fear of being outcaste all on his own.


Wow, your Dad dealt with your brother NEATLY!!!
niceone.gif

@All

Thanks for the comments so far. Will add my bit soon.

My Grandmother always said that when you hit a child you knock 1 devil out and 7 devils in.She was wonderful with children, had countless Grandchildren and Great Grandchildren, plus took in kids in the war.We were never beaten,, and I never hit my children, I cant see how it teaches anything positive. What Mafdet posted bore a similar message.In the end it was that awful threat of being outcast that changed her brothers ways.I prefer to deny my child something meaningful if the behaviour deserves some kind of puishment. For example if we were going to a friends house and the child was looking forward to it, but behaving badly on the way there....simple! I threaten to turn back and take them home, and if they persist I do just that. I never threaten and dont deliver.That way I prove I;m consistent and I believe that it actually makes the child feel more secure in knowing where the boundaries lie. Children get immune to too much smacking after a while, and I;ve known parents who have injured themselves in the process.

Good posting, I have learned a bit from this !. Locsgirl I especially agree with you that children can become immune to smacking after awhile, you have to deal with the child as it comes, depending on its character and temperament.

However like my bruh Kareem, and we don't agree much but yeah... I remember those days of parents getting the broad black belt, a limb off a tree and anything they could find that would correct me, nothing like a little shock and awe treatment to put things back into perspective. Those same parents I hug and thank for every correction they ever gave me, cos it as made me the man i am now.

Some of these young guys you see travelling around with guns talking bout thug life.... Thug life for me at their age was my Dad's big hands in the back of my head. To raise that brown boy, sometimes if their is no threat then what you get is what we have on the streets now.

The bible is right, don't spare the rod and spoil the child. Let God be true and let Social care be a lie. Them people can't grow our children, cos half of them can't grow their own.

Bit of a debate with some friends of mine and views are strong on both sides so wonering what y'all think isnecessary or even essential to beat/smack a child in order to instill proper discipline?

...isnecessary or even essential to beat/smack a child in order to instill proper discipline?




No. Talking*, and demonstratingare all you need to discipline a child.

Beating a child serves no purpose by itself. If a person was to beat and talk to a child,it WOULD have some positiveeffect ONLY because it was accompanied by talking.

This thread shows how deeply ingrained the thought that anyone should beat a child is. We just could not have this debate if the subject was aboutan adult - yet what is the difference?Some might argue that this is a way to teach a child. But teach a child what??? If this is a good way to teach, why are we not allowing ANYONE to beat our children?







*In an age related, clear, concise andcoherent manner.

"If man can't hear, him must feel"

How many times do u have to talk to a child and tell them not to do this and not to do that, before they actually listen? U can tell a child something to ur blue in the face, it's them that make the decision to carry on doing what their doing or stop, even at a young age. I don't believe in beating a child til their covered in bruises or using weapon, but a simple slap on the bottom, leg or hand won't kill the child.

Since I was raised in a household where my mother issued licks at the drop of a hat, I am dead against beating a child. I don't believe it is necessary. In raising my child I have had to literally teach myself other ways of chastising her. since the only form of chastise that I knew was the physical form. I have found that talking is higly underestimated, I thankfully have a child that responds well, but I do believe that this is the case for most children. I feel that resorting to smacking/beating teaches the child nothing and only encourages aggressive bahaviour and in most cases teaches the child that it is OK to hit/beat others.

Quote:

facetygal wrote: "If man can't hear, him must feel"

I the same as you Camille grew up in a household weremy mother use to beat me, sometimes for the most trivial reasons. As a rule I do not beat my child, I may smack her when she miss behaves, butI will not beat her, just for the simple reason that I remember the way in which my mother use to beat me, not a nice experience, I could not put my child through that. There are alternative ways to discipline a child, why do parents feel it necessary to take out their frustrations on a child? Thats exactly what your are doing when you beat them.