LOL@SS.

Traumatic experiences just seem to follow you.

OMG, Soulstarr!!!

Nuff respeck to you, Sis... you had me rolling in both stories; I would have been running out that bathroom with toilet paper trailing behind me.

Too Much Information Is Not Good

Getting slapped in the face by my mum for being cheeky...infront of my new man...I was 17!!!

18...Going to a party with nuff man...getting drunk on champs...falling down the stairs...losing my shoe...shoe being brought to the car where I was now hiding by one fine brotha...Being called Cinderella for months afterwards!!!

9...Walking in on my step brotha whilst he was walking outta the bathroom...with a hand towel over his tings...

11...Bucking up intomy mumsboyfriend walking outta the bedroom with twisted up red y-fronts on after a sesh...Oh the trauma!!!

niceone.gifPeace

I've got two stories, one I had to laugh myself, but the other I got vex like you sometimes do when embarrassment passes a certain level.

Story 1 - The Waltzers

One fine summer's day in my teenage years me and a few friends and one of my cousins decided to go to the fair. These were the days when girls were rocking the bob wigs haaard. you know the shiny ones with the fringe and graduated at the back? anyway, I didn't have one myself but my cousin did so I asked her if i could wear hers and she agreed. now not being a wig person normally I just put it on my head straightened it up and thought i was good to go.not a pin nor a grip in sight.

shortly after arriving at the fair we decided to go on the waltzers. yeah you guessed it, the next thing i know the wig has left my head. so i'm spinning round and around in this waltzer car and i can spot my wig flying through the air into the crowd of people hanging around the edges - like they do. all i can see is people dying with laughter at every turn of the waltzer car. i could not spot one straight face and i myself was mortified but also cackling hysterically because i also found it hilarious - strange and sick as that may sound. of course i was worried about my cousins wig (cost about £30 i believe at the time) but i was more worried about what to do when the waltzer stopped. eventually the ride ended and i saw a girl i know at the edge in tears of laughter holding the wig in the air for me to collect. i graciously laughed took my wig and went home. that was a bad day for me because i also lost £20.

Story 2 - Marks and Spencer

one afternoon in the run up to Xmas about a two year ago i was doing some last minute shopping and had lots of bags. as a final stop before going home I went into M&S food hall to pick up one or two things so didnt bother getting a basket. as is often the way i saw a few more things i needed and ended up at the till with all these things in my hands. at the same time i am trying to drink a can of coke because i am really thirsty - shopping can be really thirsty business.

i spotted one more thing i wanted (special offer) while in the queue and tried to reach for it. at this moment the can of coke goes flying out of my hand. i dont know how it happened to this day but the can of coke took on a life of its own and flew through the air. it was all happening in slow motion and i tried desperately to catch the coke because i could see it was headed BEHIND me (WTF??) ...and straight into a woman's bag of purchases.

well sadly, i failed to catch the can of coke and more or less the whole open can of coke fell top down into this big M&S bag full of paid for clothes that was being held by an asian woman who was in the queue behind me. she is with an older asian lady and they both are standing there in shock while I'm repeating again and again...i'm sorry, i'm really sorry, i'm really, really sorry.

now people in my queue and other queues are turning round to look and see what's happened. nuff of the coke is on the floor too (never know one can held so much!) people are going on like what has happened is really exciting and something to see and this is getting me even more embarrassed. i simply dont need this kind of attention. the woman who is operating the till I'm waiting for decides to shout out: what's happened!! I said to her there's been an accident and a can of coke is involved...and she just carried on gawping.

the indian women now become hostile. the younger one is saying; we've just paid for these!! they're ruined now!! you need to give us the money!! the older one is saying: why were you drinking that coke? how could you have done that???that was stupid!! they are taking out all the things out of the bag -my can of coke is sitting at the bottom of the bag and it's all men's suits, shirts and ties in there, not cheap stuff. now I'm getting hotter and hotter because i already feel bad enough and i dont need this - I've said sorry WTF! so i'm suggesting they call an assistant and explain whats happened because M&S being the kind of store it is i was sure they would have replaced the goods free of charge. the two women are still looking at me and making noise instead of following my advice so i start to get pissed off now. i want to argue back, even feel to lick dem both down, but realise i do not really have the moral high ground at this time. so instead i decide totake charge of the situation andtell the woman at the till to call for assistance.

when assistance arrives it is left to me to explain what has happened and in no time at all the two asian women are whisked away to have their goods replaced free of charge. none out of the two of them even bothered to thank me for my great sugggestion either, and i was left in the queue still being stared at by everyone with the pool of coke still on the floor until it was my turn to be served. i was burning with embarrassment all the way home and i truly hope nothing like this ever happens to me again. even the wig incident was less embarrassing for some reason.

One of the MANY embarassing moments was.......

The day I fell flat outside of Barbiban tube station.....minding some damn new shoes that I was sporting as if I was God's gift or something.... then all these white folk came running to ask me if I was alright....I was soo embarassed.

That wasn't the first time damn new shoes caused be to drop to the ground!!!