For some reason this difficult situation struck me in thought one day and strangely I haven't been able to find an answer, I was wondering if anybody had any views on the topic.

Say you were going to get married in the near future and you had abstained and will continue to do so from sex until that point. Before your wedding you both decide to take a STD test and it results in the discovery that your partner has HIV.

What do you do? Love and Marriage is worth more than just sex, but could you still marry knowing that you would never be able to have children and you would see your partner get painfully ill and die in front of you.

On the other hand ending the relationship would be better on your behalf but what about your partners life? They have discovered the heart breaking news and now the only thing left in their life is you. Taking that away would be a cruel selfish thing to do. Aiding the stigma that is already attached to the disease.

Wow... some dilema... blkwonderIf I was planning on abstaining from sex until marriage

bighairlol...bighairlol...bighairlol...bighairlol. ..

...sorry... ahem... if I were toabstain for... I'm guessing for a couple of years or so? (allowing sufficient time to get to know your intended)... I'd sure as fire is hot make sure he was as STI/HIV free asI before I made that commitment... so... no dilema to speak of... I'd either know from the get-go and have to deal with it early on... or, if he miraculously 'acquired' an STI/HIV while I was keeping it locked-down, then... see ya blktrainers

Ok then fair point. So lets bring it down to a month or 2 just after you started going out. Still a hard choice to call. With all whats in the media and goverment, show compassion, lose the stigma. And yet you would be doing the worse thing by just walking off.

So I find out after we've been going out fora month or two? If so then yeah, it'd be horrible but I'd not be marrying the man... after two months I'd be infatuated, might even care about him quite bit but no way near enough to enter into such a death sentence with him (his nor mine)... I'd like to think I'd be a good friend to him but I'm not sure if I could hack it to be honest... and after just two months... I'd probably convince myself that there must be someone else closer to him than I that can be more of a support to him...

... so I'd quickly and finally detangle myself from any romantic involvement and take it from there...

... What about you, are you still walking down the aisle?

You guys are too nice.

Im gone... walking my merry way with no regrets and not an instant of sorrow. You think thats unfeasibly mean of me?

Im not looking to lay down my life for anyone. It sounds pretty in an R&B song but the realities of sleeping with and marrying someone with HIV for a funny thing called love is just not me.

2 months??? HA never, not even a dillemma for me.

LOL @ DM - I aint being that nice... my response was not that different to yours (I just used a few more words to express myself - call it a woman thing)...

...I said I'd not be marrying him... I'd like to think we could be friends but weren't sure... and that either way I'd quickly and finally detangle myself from any romantic involvement... Not overly nice really... but I agree... not much of a dilema either...