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1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in."
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your cheques, write "for intimate favors."
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation marks.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Kim.
17. When money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won! I won! Third time this week!!!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running toward the parking lot yelling, "run for your lives, they're loose!"
19. Tell your children over dinner, "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20. Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or asked you not to send them stuff like this.
\'\'I can handle anything that life throws at me. I may not be able to handle it well, or correctly, or gracefully, or with finesse, or expediently - but I will handle it.\'\'
[size=3]Let me see if I got this right.These are supposed to betips on how to keep your sanity?
Respect
There are those who feel that the only way to ‘prove their own worth’ is by ‘devaluing the worth of others’. You will often find that a man who is compelled to measure his substance against the substance of another, has little of substance in the first place!
There are those who feel that the only way to ‘prove their own worth’ is by ‘devaluing the worth of others’. You will often find that a man who is compelled to measure his substance against the substance of another, has little of substance in the first place!
Ive been known to speak to the cash machine anyway (a day or two before payday) When you aren't sure..."chat bout, you KNOW you had to give me my money... Damn Cheef!"
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imported post -
02-12-04, 11:30 AM
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