Did You Know?!!?

MsPnutt · (#1 (**permalink**))

here goes... received this in an email attachment.. i been giggling to myself all day... nothin like a good giggle to make u forget Xmas.

DID YOU KNOW...
>If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have
>produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
>(Hardly seems worth it.)
>
>If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
>produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
>(Now that's more like it!)
>
>The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the
>body to squirt blood 30 feet.
>(Oh My God!)
>
>A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
>(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
>
>A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves
>to death.
>(Creepy...I'm still not over the pig.)
>
>Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
>(Do not try this at home...... maybe at work.)
>
>The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached
>to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
>("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")
>
>The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human
>jumping the length of a football field.
>(30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine??)
>
>The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
>(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
>
>Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
>(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
>
>Butterflies taste with their feet.
>(Something I always wanted to know.)
>
>The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
>(Hmmmmmm........)
>
>Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than
>left-handed people.
>(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
>
>Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
>(OK, so that would be a good thing....)
>
>A cat's urine glows under a black light.
>(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
>
>An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
>(I know some people like that.)
>
>Starfish have no brains.
>(I know some people like that too.)
>
>Polar bears are left-handed.
>(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)
>
>Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for
>pleasure.
>(What about that pig??)
>
>Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the
>stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to
>(maybe even a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone.
>We all need to smile every once in a while.

MsPnutt · (#2 (**permalink**))

Hope this makes you smile......
>> >EVER WONDER...
>> >
>> >...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
>> >
>> >...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
>> >
>> >...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
>> >
>> >...why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
>> >
>> >...why doctors call what they do "practice"?
>> >
>> >...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
>> >
>> >...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while
>>dishwashing
>>liquid is made with real lemons?
>> >
>> >...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
>> >
>> >...why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
>> >
>> >...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
>> >
>> >...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
>> >
>> >...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
>> >
>> >...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used
>>for the
>>indestructible black box ?
>> >
>> >...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
>> >
>> >...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck
>>together?
>> >
>> >...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of
>>progress?
>> >
>> >...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
>> >
>> >AND...
>> >
>> >In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed
>>because of
>>stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer
>>goods.
>> >
>> >On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and
>>that's the
>>only time I have to work on my hair).
>> >
>> >On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
>>Details
>>inside. (the shoplifter special?)
>> >On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and
>>that
>>would be how???....)
>> >
>> >On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
>>(but,
>>it's
>>"just" a suggestion).
>> >
>> >On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn
>>upside
>>down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
>> >
>> >On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after
>>heating."
>>(...and you thought????...)
>> >
>> >On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
>>(but
>>wouldn't this save me more time?)
>> >
>> >On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate
>>machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to
>>reduce
>>the
>>rate of construction accidents if we could just get those
>>5-year-olds
>>with
>>head-colds off those forklifts.)
>> >
>> >On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm
>>taking
>>this because???....)
>> >
>> >On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use
>>only."
>>(as
>>opposed to...what?)
>> >
>> >On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
>>(now,
>>somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
>> >
>> >On Sainsburys peanuts :"Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a
>>news
>>flash!)
>> >
>> >On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open
>>packet, eat
>>nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
>> >
>> >I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a
>>child's
>>superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to
>>fly."
>> >
>> >On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your
>>hands or
>>genitals."
>> >(...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
>> >
>> >>

COLTRANE · (#3 (**permalink**))

>> >In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed
>>because of
>>stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer
>>goods

its true though-liked that