Nothing makes me happier than seeing a black man, a black woman both with wedding rings on and maybe a few children. ( the more children, the happier I am). Unfortunately, I am seeing a lot of single parenting and less strong families.

I see the break down of the family as a major problem for us. I would like to solicit constructive Ideas as to how we can improve this within our communities. I understand this is a problem that effects society as a whole, but I am interested in solutions from a black perspective.

Divorces should be expensive; something like $100,000...This would make people think twice about getting married or getting a divorce. Secondly a test should be administeredto get a licence to procrate, some people are simply too incompetent to raise childern...

Big problems cause for radical solutions....

I am kind of hoping for realistic ideas that can be implemented. I think our men are getting the good stuff (not buying the cow, cause the milk is free), making babies, not stepping up to the plate and being men by taking care of the babies they make. I think our women are settling for that trash somehow thinking that if they don't settle, they will be alone. It vexes my soul to see our families break down like this....or rather never get started

I hear your point, but do you have a realistic solution? This is a serious problem. I am not here to turn this in to a bashing. It is completely unproductive.

You are right, the problem does infact come from both sides...men and women....but I think it is the mens responsibility to build families.somebody has got to do the reprogramming.....women are the weaker vessel, and therefore should not be expected to take the lead in this serious issue.

BTW, no offense was taken, I just wanted to bring the subject back, as I use to say, "on the serious tip"

I don't wont to stand by and see our families decend downward...because I am sure something can be done if we don't all sit around and wait for someone else to do it.

I am very sorry, but believe it or not that is not ment to be derogatory at all. It is meant to place the responsibility at the feet of the man. I am baseing that thought on my personal experience and of those around me. I have been happily married for 19 1/2 years and my wife and I have 11 children. we are 49/51.....I don't, nor would I ever attemtp to rule over my wife, but someone has to be the head. we make decisions equally, after discussing them but I am responsible for the outcome....so when a tie come up, I have to make the decision. Sometimes I make the decision that my wife wanted while other times I decide to go the way I wanted. But rather it comes out bad or good....I am the responsible party. My wife and I both agree that this is an excellent model for our family....and I think it would work for other willing participants. I am a christian, and this is in tune with the biblical way of doing things as well...In fact the bible states that women are the weaker vessel...but that is in no way derogatory towards them....infact the bible makes it clear that women are capable of doing anything a man can, but God puts the responsibility for leadership of the home at the feet of the man. God also commands man to Give honor unto the wife..... You cant give honor if your are running down.... It also commands a wife to love the wife as he love himself.....now we all know we men love ourselves.

Glory2God wrote:
You have to get to the root of the problem to eliminate it. The demonization of Black Men continues to take place in mainstream culture, the task of destroying this image starts with us, we have to fight what 'they' say we are, or we'll continue to suffer. We must respect ourselves if we ever expect our Women to truly respect and value us as Men. We have to be real about our flaws, on the other hand, we must recognize our good qualities as well. Lets be real here, as much as we, Black Men, are labeled as no good; troublemakers, Black Women are also labeled in some of the most vile ways as well. Unfortunately, we perpetuate some of the worst stereotypes of each other: if we're calling her a "bitch" and in return she's calling us a "low down dirty dog", we're both literally dehumanizing each other for the world(including our youth) to see. How can we expect Men and Women to engage in healthy relationships, let alone marriages, when they don't fully value each other? We have to stop internalizing the worst concepts of our being, many given to us by our oppressors.

We need to educate the youth; we need family education in school(not sex alone), if we can teach children about their reproductive systems, surely we can teach them that there is an ideal family setting consisting of a Man and Woman. However, we must not alienate them because many of them are from single parent households, you can't expect a child to appreciate something if it paints the parent that raised them in a negative light.

perhaps in England, Africa and Southern US black family is doing well, but in the Liberal NOrtheastern US it is a sad sad state of affairs. over 60% of black children born to out of wedlock, no father in the picture homes. more black males are in prison than in college and university. black on black crime is out of control, crack is still devastating the black american landscape. and now materialism and mental health as well as diabetes, hypertension and obesity is killing us left and right. and poverty is still the number one thing.

blacks families have left the church in the last 30 to 40 years. they have left their moral base behind and have glammed onto the media, rap, fast easy money, trying to be like whites, and living in immoral sexual lifestyles like the whites do--homosexuality, prostitution, shacking up.

In the northeast i have to cover my ears to walk down the street or ride the subway. it is common to hear an old black lady using profanity, spitting in public, lewd talking. It is common to see black men not working, panhandling, cursing in front of women, standing on street corners and on the news for crimes.

we have become like the majority european white population and in the northeast we have become worse than them.:?

tuckerreed wrote: