Usually, I'll say what is on my heart, but with that in mind, I learn not to sweat the small stuff.

People say things that they don't mean all the time due to some emotional imbalance inside of them. Urkel called it emotional cholesterol. Some things could be overlooked while others requires a good old fashion stomping.

I was good friends with my friends boyfriend who was also a student of mine. We got on really well. When they broke up I felt I needed to stay loyal to her, although the guy did nothing wrong to cause the break-up. Months went by and in that time my friend decided he really was love of her life, so she tried to get him back. He wanted friendship only, so great we can all be friends again.

Last time we were all together he suggested we all hook up soon, watch a movie together etc etc. But...a week later he text me to ask if he could come round that evening. In my innocence I assumed he;d asked her to but he had not. She had the temper tantrum from Hell, so I told him I couldn;t see him.

He invites me for a coffee to talk because he received a dozen abusive calls from her. I met him and told him how my friend was feeling and how he had un-intentionally hurt her. That was months ago and I never told her about our meeting. She has not heard from him in all that time.

But this morning he text me to wish me a happy solstice and asked if we could meet up and go on a bike ride together.

I was contemplating all this when I saw this post and thats why I replied to it. Cos these situations are a Flamin Nightmare and should be avoided at all costs....Always.

I dont know whether he;s playing mind games...or he;s after me...or he really cant see the harm in maintaining friends with me....I just dont know. My best friend says I need to keep well away from him.

Its sad because good friends are hard to find but sometimes(often) the politics in these situations make it impossible to continue. I know my friend would be devastated if she knew I met up with him and spent time. Yes she;s jealous but shes my mate and that really has to be first priority.

Either that or I run for the hills.

well i really cant embrace my friends nemesis. yet they can embrace mine.

i went out with some brer, and he hurt me bad with some other girl, who's name i cant even say coz it hurts so much i feel sick. they hate the fact that i still talk to him, and "punish" me for it. yet they think it's ok to chat to her.

double standards methinks. that's why i dont rely on no one but myself and my family.

Timeline

Had two sets of friends back in the day. Two guys had a big beef with each other and lots of people got involved. Now I have two rival sets of friends who used to fight each other all the time. It had nothing to do with me, the beef, so initially I tried the middle ground and stayed out of it.

I would go to one guys house and all the man would be talking about beefing "them other man" or I would go to another guys house and it would be the same in reverse... feels deceptive even though everyone knew my status. I even tried calling the two instigators together to make peace, but that didnt work because by then the thing had spiralled and other beefs had come out of that.

Had to choose sides... was with one group when we went out to a spot and the other was there. A standoff and nobody did anything for a change, at first I drifted and mingled with everyone (even sharing drinks). During the evening the groups drifted apart. Later on outside the other group (who I wasn't with) had done something to provoke, wontgo into details but it forced my hand and since I was with the ones I was with... had to choose sides there and then.

Eventually... you do have to choose sides and stand firm or lock off everyone. If you keep playing the middle ground, it's like you stand for nothing, nobody is inspired to be loyal to you, nobody can back you since you don't them and you are generally regarded with suspiscion.

That's just how we are. We are loyal to friends and expect it back, the nemesis (lol I like that word) is to them an enemy and you, by siding with the enemy are disloyal to them. You can do it, but don't expect loyalty back.

Dimoke & Timeline

Choosing the side of who you think is right is seldom that clear cut.

OK, if girl A slept with girl B's boyfriend, initially girl A is the wrong doer and you lock her off and chill with girl B right?

But what if girl A had a really hard time last year, her mum died, she went off the rails and needs you? hmmm

Ill go one better... What if this happened to YOU and girl A was your rock, your supported and comforter always there for you... girl B is a good friend but you hardly see each other these days and she is always smug and boasting about her good man and relationship, making a point of it...

Is it still so clear and cut now?smoking-devil

dimoke

I didn't say girl B was not close to you. I said you don't see as much of her anymore. Some of my closest friends see me rarely these days because of commitments like work or babies but we all still brothers...

They are BOTH your closefriends...

And as for EVIL DEED lol... yeah I suppose it is, but it's hardly uncommon is it? And she was in a bad state, (some people handle things better or worse than others) I've seen people go to peices over stuff others just get on with... lets just say girl A was in a bad way... you wouldn't condone her actions but you would understand right? everyone makes mistakes surely?

OH YEAH

Theywere notfriends with each other... but areboth yours.



Anyway, would you lock them BOTH off for real?