i know that i may not getmany replies if any at all...because most of the people that might think about replying..i have asked them not to type to me...lol anywho... i wanted to ask for opinions... iwas chatting about this recently with a female friend..... and i plan on chatting with a male friend about this....

as a womando u feel as though u havebeen or are beingshort changed in ur male/female relationships?....after reading the board ..many women seem to feel this way...after the fact...after they have done what they thought was the right thing to do (so to speak)in regardsto that friendship/relationship...

do women put forth more of an effort in relationships? or is it just that men focus differently/see relationships in a different light?

men can answer too...just change the question to fit u....

no hate please...i know this may be hard for some...lol

oh and btw.....lurkers join in...don't just lurk...:P

Women have high expectations fromthe starting of a career, buying a home, and establishing a relationship. Relationships are the only one that is not within their power to control and I believe it depresses women. They have a tendency to believe that life will continually progress. Around the time they begin searching for a relationship is the time they realize that happiness and the reaching of goals reaches a plateau. Their expectations finally meet reality. Unfortunately their disappointment with that reality is attributed tomen.

Most relationships today are never started with a clear understanding of what's expected. Taking cue from the strenth and independence that made their career and home-buying goals a reality, they approach a relationship in the same manner. Many women speak boldly about not needing a man to complete them, which is oxymoronic to a relationship.Being independent and not"NEEDING a man" is a concise statement. Men interpret that asnot "WANTINGa man." Men believe that she only wants a "friend with benefits," but no concrete commitment. Somewhere along the line, the woman usually decides the relationship is developing into something of substance, but the man has no clue. He's still in the "friends with benefits" mode.

Women have a tendency to love hard. But key words of "expectation" and "reality" must be factored into the equation before we candetermine if women love right.

Very true Loyalty.....

Back in the days i would think why cant men this, and why cant men that, but as i got older i stopped observing men and started observing women and what we cause onto ourselves.

The crux of it is women are excellent at the theory, but crap at the practical. We ALWAYS know what we should do yet allow our 'hearts aka our own temporary needs' come first and eventually be our downfall.

Old skool women just loved, and that was it. If they got hurt, oh well, but they accepted that man from receeding hairline to callous foot bottom!!!. It is natural for a woman to be this way, but because of the times we have to recondition ourselves and then we create an unnatural person who wants to love but is still trying to guard themselves, and this cannot be done, hence the 'craziness'.

We are different now, we dont love wholly. We give, we give some more, hoping this will acquire what we want, and when it doesnt, we start the relationship war. We dont know how to love wholly, or maybe we have not taken the time to love ourselves, or meet the right type of guy that will show us all about this love. Modern day women always have to protect, but we still want a man. So you end up at two sides of the extreme and that is either doing anything to please anyman, or not doing enough to please the right man.

The reason a lot of women are feeling 'short changed' in their relationships is because from the get go they were trying to make cereal with water, hoping one day the water will turn into milk. The brain that we have that can make us do so well in our lives / jobs / friendships is not the same brain being used when it comes to picking man. We see things clear as day and still 'hope' for something else down the road??!! Maybe it is a control issue, maybe it is just ego. (which women have more than men, trust me!!!) Too many women are putting looks and sex first in their criteria for men and 'hoping' a bit of personality and morals will be thrown into the package as well.

We dont learn much about ourselves before we enter relationships, and that is the main problem. We feel like we know ourselves but we dont know s*it, and this is what allows the wrong people to be able to get in and influence. We need to utilise our willpower and develop stronger minds that are on higher and deeper things.

A womans true role is difficult. We have to be so strong but yet so soft. We have to know when to take a back seat and when to be in the driving seat. We have to know when to serve and when to be served. We have to know when to spoil and when to discipline. We have to know when totry and when to give up.

And life is just about getting the tools to balance all of that out correctly.

So to cut a long story short if we want to stop feeling short changed we first have to learn to tell the difference between a nickle and a dollar first!!

Good post Iyallah niceone.gif

Iyallah .. HELLO!!! it's been too long gurl! Your response was deep.. Loyalty ..you too...I agree completely.. we are shortchanged becos we allow ourselves to be..

hey yall...thanks for the replys...keep em coming

iyallah clp)