I had a bad experience with this one....just wanted to hear the views/opinions of othersI suppose,in a sense, to correlate my thoughts/views of the situation.

So...would you send your child abroad?.....would you trust family members with your child?....if yes why?...... if not why?...

People, I amjust looking for some form of clarification here...honest views please

Dumb replies will not be acknowledged....blkfingerwag



Regards....blk2cheers2

yes I would....

I I'm not sure if I could send my child abroad. Only if they're lives were in danger, i guess. I got a lot of family and stuff to help me out if I feel I'm goin wrong sumwhere with bringin up the child, and the child themself will have all the support and love they need here. The only time I would send them abroad, is to visit my relatives in Canada, but not until they're like...9 or 10 or something. Before then I would travel with them always, cause I don't think I could bare to send them off alone younger than that cause i'd be worrying constantly

Some people think that since the education system is failing black youth so drastically in this country (and yes it is that way around) that the only option is to take their children out of this negative atmosphere whatever the factors may be. Others feel that it is about the culture and they need grounding in who they are hmm

I might agree with such sentiments but personally I would miss them to much I think. That could probably seem selfish but then I think the best person to raise them is me...

My mum threatened to send me to military school in Africa damn near everyday (or everytime she read my school reports)... only one time she got serious and meant it, going so far as to book tickets and that was when I was about to be expelled. The deputy head on hearing my mums plans and no doubt having white woman nightmares about what those evil africans schools would do to me turned around in that meeting so fast you woulda though she was doing Usher's U-turn. She had been explaining why I was to be expelled and how bad what I did was, but once my mum started agreeing (as she always did :X) and taking it further about military school and "beating sense into me" the deputy had a switch and turned into honey and sugar pleading to keep me at the school. My mum went home and thought about it, still talking to the school in Africa... That night I was scared shitless I ain't gonna lie but eventually she relented to let me stay...

I don't think Id do that to mine... except maybe just to scare them as in hindsight, what my mum probably was doing...

I have sent my child home every summer since she was 6 years old. I feel it is very important that family remain close, and not for her to be too strongly indoctrinated of the western views of "africa" - because in real life, africa is a great place to be. Plus, thats where "family" are. She is now 14 and travels unaccompanied, and looks forward to every visit - highlight of her year.

But travelling is second nature to her by now, as we globe trot several times a year.

I trust my family to ensure she is safe, fed and watered although it wasnt easy in the beginning. I expected them to treat her as she is accustomed to - which was silly, of course. Kids are the most dynamic flexible humans on the planet, and it´s adults the insist they conform to specific ways.At the end of the day she is an enriched young adult, who has the benefits of truly living multiple cultures - and most importantly, a positive feeling of "home in africa".

Is your question asking if you´d send you child abroad for good? for school? permanant living? then no. Whereever I am is her permanant residence. Her secure foundation. regardless of what country we live in, it is me, her mom, that is the root. (no offence men, but daddy doesnt count in this picture)

first hand experience? When I lived in Africa, both my older brother and sister were sent to live with relatives in the EU - at different times, for different reasons - and they both harbour much anger and resentment until this day - even though they are both successful and were raised by their caretakers lovingly. That same brother, years later, sent his EU born kids to africa to be raised, and they resent it to this day. Even though they have benefits EU kids could only dream of, and a family that adores them.

Regardless of the fact that each timeit was for the benefit of the child - there is little to no benefit for a child tofeel "abandoned" by a parent. As a parent, it is important to send you child abroad if you have the opportunity - because nothing beats a better education than that. You open their world. But if you are sending them "away", for the benefit of the child -you may as well go with them - because if you dont, you´re missing the plot in life

Backatya

I used to go home every summer holidays too... Sometimes Christmas as well.

I sorta assumed the thread originator was talking about schooling and went off on that one. If she just meant in general, the short trips likethat then yes I would and will do.

only if it was a really short break im talking like a couple of weeks and it would have to be proper close family. otherwise no after all them stories you hear nahh

bless x

Hey..... I though that i should clarify on this matter.,



I dont mean as in a holiday, i mean as in live there for 1 year + without your presence.



Regards

Most parents will do what they think is right for their child at any given time.

I sent my son to live with my parents when he was 14,not abroad, but only 40 miles away. At the time it seemed like absolutely the right thing to do (his life was in danger, very bad things happening), and his life got better in many ways.

Ididn't have the time or wits to think it through, the effects of him not living with us.

Even though I could go to see him a lot, I felt bereaved almost and even though he always said it was OK, it really wasn't. I did what I thought was right, but I could have done better. If I had my time again I would have gone with him, however imposible that seemed, and worked it out from there.

It's often difficult for children just moving house, or school, but moving abroad for a year without their parent/s, I would think again. Whatever the benefits the child you are talking about could get, the shock of your own child not being there is phenomenal, it is something you cannot imagine unless you have been there, and I could not guess really how the child would feel.

I had a smilar conversation elsewhere recently, with someone saying about going away for 6 months and leaving a ten year old. 'Oh we can talk on the phone, emails, bla bla'. No amount of phone calls or emails can make up for the day to day stuff we all take for granted.

Creed, people still say I did the right thing, but they are not me, they are not my son. It is the only thing in my life I have never got over.

Creed,

Unless I'm there or if my chidl is over 18, the answer is no.

I would definitely send my child abroad, possibly to Argentina or Chile for boarding school. I was send away from home for secondary school as were my 3 sisters, so I see no issue in it at all. Argentina has wonderful tennis and horse riding training programs at the boarding school so that is definitely a PLUS!