"Watch your friends, not your enemies."

The Mighty Mos Def · (#1 (**permalink**))

Timeline wrote:

Quote:

Whenever we think of enemies we think of those who intentionally cause us harm.

However, cannot a friend who has the ability to get in your inner circle, or connect with you in another way, cause more harm than a clear enemy?
[line]Of course, those that are close to you have a better 'appreciation' of what makes you tick; what motivates you; what gets under your skin. This is why we should always use caution when opening up to anyone, their intentions for starting a friendship with you are not always positive. Although some may mean well, they don't possess the skills or good nature to be good friends; I'm sure we've all had 'friends' who always seemed to be at odds with us.

Think about it. I can use our friendship to do things to you that an enemy would not get away with doing. I can talk down to you under the assumption that "we are friends and I'm just giving you good advice." If I hurt you I can say that since we've known each other for so long, we shouldn't let little things mess up our friendship.[line]Agreed. Friendships are often used by some for their benefit only; you're often left wandering, "do these 'friends' really feel my pain; relate to me; want me to excel, or would they revel in my failure(s), secretly(and sometimes not so secretly) waiting for my demise?" This is why we must choose our friends carefully and not have any guilt if we choose to disassociate from 'friends' that give that 'vibe' or always seem to be at odds with us. The problem is, we're not taught to do that; instead, we're taught to place our trust in friends, until the end, that is foolish.

For instance, black people are connected by the color of their skin and their shared experience of oppression. However, does that mean that one can be overly critical of a group of blacks with no closer inspection?[line]Of course not. While we may be able to relate to each other; share a common enemy and know that enemy's identity, that doesn't guarantee we know each other well enough to consistently constructively criticize each other, in a similar manner in which we do those from our own background, at least without having our intentions called into question.

What if one is overly critical of a group of blacks because it makes one feel superior. Therefore, a sense of superiority, and not improvement would be the goal, thus making it impossible for the other group to ever be "good enough" because being "good enough" would render the other party no longer superior. And if the assumption of superiority is the goal then rhetoric of making the other group better would be just that...rhetoric.[line]Well my opinion on that is: the vast majority of people, seemingly, look for whatever differences they have to elevate themselves above others, so much so, that I believe it has to be in our nature, because, I don't believe it's always done with malicious intent. I've observed, whether it's women vs. men; 'your school vs. my school;' north vs. south; east vs. west; and so on, most people have a need to feel superior to something/someone/somewhere. Taking that into account, it's not up to them to change, because I believe they can't; instead, it's up to all of us to always be cognizant of the differences and come to grips with the likelihood they will always exist, in one form or another; assuming that they will disappear is not only illogical, but it's also dismissive of the history of human interaction(we've behaved like this for awhile, I see no end in sight). No, we must come to appreciate those differences, not attempt to sweep them under a rug; behave indifferently towards them; act like they don't exist; or fixate on how they shouldn't exist at all. Find common ground, and progress from there.

How closely do you inspect the words of those who are supposed to be connected to you?[line]The thing is, for most people, I believe we don't have to carefully "inspect" their words, because, as a rapper said, "their actions reveal how their heart really feels," it's always there for us to see; unfortunately, we either ignore it; don't have our 'antenna' up, blinded by the gleam of false friendliness; or don't want to believe the worst of our friends. Again, we're taught that to establish friendships, we must learn to trust; however, we're rarely taught, if ever, that to establish friendships, we must be trustworthy and good intentioned above all else.

Or do you assume that if they have become your "friend" or connected to you in any way that they are incapable of causing you harm?
[line]No, I know better.

Volchi · (#2 (**permalink**))

this is probably why the black race is so divided, most of are friends are our enemies. If you look at the amount of black on black crimes in the country, the majority of them stem from old friends falling out.

Amin · (#3 (**permalink**))

'Lord protect me from my friends because I can look after my enemies’ Machiavelli

I think this statement is so true as when it comes to friends we are not as suspicious of them as we are of our enemies, we see clearly when it comes to enemies but friends our judgement can often be clouded.

ChubbiChix · (#4 (**permalink**))

True indeed, your friends are sometimes more hazardous to your health then enemys because friends become spoiled, tyrannical and envious over time. You must watch the people you have close to you and keep certain boundaries still. Good friends are hard to come by and should be treasured but issues in the relationship should be shared often so that no tension or resentment builds up.

ChubbiChix · (#5 (**permalink**))

Pertaining to race, there are elitist black folk that feel they are superior or not connected with the commen black folk and there goal usually is keeping their superior status and not change. Just like slave days house and field negro. Even in coporate america, a token negro thats already established in a company will feel threatned by a new brother or sister because they may jepordize the old brothers superior negro status especially if the new brother refuses to be his underling.