I ask this because i have been backstabbed so many times by people i thought were my "friends".....after about 4-5 years building up a friendship; all it taken was one stupid incident to end it like that...



Just think about it; an enemy you know where one chills, associates with, and all the tatics they use. So you can keep a close eye on them. However, with friends you are innocently leting them in your yards, life, and letting them know nearly everything about you which i find equally as dangerous. Think about all the celebrties who's secrets have been let out by people they "trusted" but soon went to the press!!!! thats why i ask the question:



Are friendships worth it, or is it best just to be aquaintances?

Do you trust people, more in the past, or the same?





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antflagghanflagviflag

I don't view it as a loss if someone I've known for a long time is willing to fall out with me over some trivial nonsense. The way I see it, that proves to me that they were never really my friends to begin with. People like that do you a favour when they're out your life. You really learn who your true friends are when sh*t hits the fan.

It's hard to trust people nowadays because the loyalty element isn't there like it was even 10 years ago. I've got my own circle of friends I've known for years and we're all down from each other. They've been there when I've gone thru all kinds of sh*t in the past to when I had my child. Likewise I've been there for them when they've gone through madness. We disagree sometimes but at least we settle things like men and don't just throw away years of friendship over bullsh*t.

Apart from that, I got numerous aquaintances both here and abroad. But ultimately it's all about me and my family.

good friendships are precious, and for me essential.

bad ones - need to be discovered quickly and got rid of.

but yes of course you should have friends, but you just have to make sure you choose them wisely!

@Prince Hakeem:I don't view it as a loss if someone I've known for a long time is willing to fall out with me over some trivial nonsense.

But what if you, thought you had a good relationship with this person! trusted them and thought a good solid friendship was getting stronger as the days went by?

The way I see it, that proves to me that they were never really my friends to begin with.

After all those years, you fount out that person/people meant nothing all along!!!! would this change your opinion on future freindships?

People like that do you a favour when they're out your life. You really learn who your true friends are when sh*t hits the fan.


This is this the point i'm trying to make, is friendship really that worth it; in a selfish, self-centred, materialistic word today?

It's hard to trust people nowadays because the loyalty element isn't there like it was even 10 years ago.

Well i'm 17 and 10 years ago i was 7, so i wouldn't know about friendship that much back than....but i do know about "crews" and loyalty that is nothing nowadays!!! not just crews i have had extremly bad expriences from, people who are meant to be "family" friends!!!!!!

got my own circle of friends I've known for years and we're all down from each other.

Are you sure that, EVEN through anything that might happen they will be there for you. e.g if you played the lottery and won lets say £1.5 million; and left it one of your friends house....do you think they would give it you back or keep it?

hey've been there when I've gone thru all kinds of sh*t in the past to when I had my child. Likewise I've been there for them when they've gone through madness.



Thats good, but not always the case for everyone, look at my above scenorio (sp) tell me what you think?

We disagree sometimes but at least we settle things like men and don't just throw away years of friendship over bullsh*t.


Sorting problems over minor things is good, but what if something big happened? would they still see all the years of "friendship" you've had?

Apart from that, I got numerous aquaintances both here and abroad. But ultimately it's all about me and my family.

Even within families, trust can be an issue, so what about "friends"?

@Miss Brighter Days: good friendships are precious, and for me essential.


Essential, explain more please; as i'm a bit confused?

bad ones - need to be discovered quickly and got rid of.

But how do you know the ones who you think are "good" aren't really bad (coverty)?

but yes of course you should have friends, but you just have to make sure you choose them wisely!


But in the type of world we live in today, it is hard to fine a "good" friends; do you think your friends would backstabb you for better career opportunties, money, or to better themselves somehow?

@Maat- think they are definitely worth but it can just take time to find out who your true friends really are.

Well said, but what about when these "true" friends start to do things; and you start to think because you've known them for sometime, that they didn't mean it. What would you do than?

I agree too that if so called friends want to let minor things spoil what you thought was a strong relationship, it's time to think again.


Excatly, but what is a strong realtionship??







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ghanflagviflagantflag

I COULDN'T SLEEP, CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ON HERE DIS TIEM OF DA MORNING ...

....and plse don't delete Abs! Well said..

Everyone comes into your life either for a reason, season or lifetime.. I believe that when we find ourselves in any bad situation, it is meant to teach us a lesson (Rather than ask why did this happen to me, ask yourself what is your Life is telling you about where your at, and who you hang with or what you value? What could you learn from what's happened? How can you take that forward and use it positively..) So that you can learn from it, take knowledge of lesson learnt, and apply to new people/new situations..

@ghanindian

try and keep your head up. I know how you feel as I had a very good friend who I met at uni and had known coming up to nine years and I havent heard from her in almost a year. We used to see each other at least once or twice a year as she lived out of London but she stopped returning my calls & txts and our mutual male friend who is closer to her has also stopped contact.

I think it all started when I told her something personal around two years ago and she briefly stopped speaking to me. I guess she judged me and she is also a very secretive person who didnt tell me shameful things that she had done or was doing until ages after the event or if she was really in trouble at the time and needed to speak. I am quite hurt by her disappearance, especially as the last text she sent last year said she had found a job in London so she must be nearer me now!!this girl used to sleep at my house, i drove miles to visit her, we went raving in uni, she introduced me to my daughter's dad and now nothing...

But as Abissinia said maybe she feels she has grown out of the friendship... it is hurtful that someone can just forget so many years but that is life. I am not that good at keeping in touch with friends either but I have never left it a whole year as I think about the person and feel guilty at night eventually til I have to call them.

You are very young and you will meet new friends all the time. I have so many different friends and groups of acquaintances but I wouldn't say any of them are my best friend. My mum taught me to be very wary of who you let into your life as people can be very deceitful and dangerous. When my dad was ill my parents really found out who their true friends were and the people who they had helped the most and run up and down for weresome ofthe ones that stopped coming round and vice versa the ones who they weren't that close to turned out to be angels...

I would say never limit yourself to a few friends, keep in touch with old friends and if you feel that a friendship isnt working out just tell the person in a nice way or even write a letter rather than just droppi