Help! How can I gain a new social circle?

2deal2 · (#1 (**permalink**))

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Le Moor · (#2 (**permalink**))

2deal2 wrote:

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Hi,

I know this sounds deep but I wanted to share my thoughts and get your opinions. When I was at college, I wanted desperately to form new friends since most of my high school friends had spilt and gone to other colleges.

However, I had great difficulty in trying to do it, because of a long-term illness. Every 3 months, I had to have blood tests and x-rays, to keep checking on my condition. So what happened is that I developed this 'self-protection' mentality. My illness meant I couldn't travel very far,even going up town to clubs or going to people's houses. And being an only child doesn't help.

So what happened is that I latched on to a group of people and hanged around them long enough, so they began to tolerate me. The problem is though, when the day was finished, I could never maintain the friendships further like go to a club or house party with them.

And a side-effect of this is that I can't remember names, because sub-consciously, I block them out after 20 seconds, because I'm worried that I might get to know the person and have to go places with them.

The only person's name I could remember was a girl, who I fancied desperately, who I think liked me -- I suppose I had the chance to ask her out, but at the time, I had NO experience with girls confused3never any advice on what to say or do. Plus, I have been shy since I was 12, never wanting to offend anyone.

Since I left that college, I went on to an other, which had a class of mixed ages, I was attracted to some of the girls but they all had men and I know they all some of them saw me as a friend. SinceI left I have no idea how to start up a new social circle. I have no idea where my 'friends' from my first college are and the other college people I know are married with kids.

So basically, I'm a 24-year-old male with no immediate social group. Where do I start? I don't wanna end up like this...

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2deal2.... hi bro how you doing?

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Have you tried friends re-united to track down your oldCollege friends?

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Do you work?Work can be an ideal environment to meet new people and make friends, especially if you work for a big corporate.

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Failing this there are clubs andactivities which you can take up to aid in your search. Just write down a list of the things you like doing then start searching on the net for clubs and associations.

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I found a great way of meeting new people, especially girls, was through taking upSalsa dancing. Its good fun,there are lots of people there lookingtomake friends the same way, there'realways too many women to equallypartner the men, and the womenlove upa man who can Salsa well.Every class has a beginners section so no need to feel intimidated.

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Good luckanyway

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jett Black · (#3 (**permalink**))

Cash and lots of it and you'll widen your social circle quicker than you can say,leech!!

Ok,i'm being flip..........hope you are managing your health as best you can.niceone.gif

As for your circle you dont need that many concentrate on quality more than quantity and don't worry you have plenty of time,I doubt you'll end up like your clickable word(unless you look like Joe Pesci or something?) and besides even if you do end up like that at least my man had some cool toys.