I'm Tired of Today's "Strong Black Women" – A Tribute to Coretta Scott King

Ricky L. Jones (blackvanguard@hotmail.com)

It's an off-week but I had to write this. To be sure, the title of this Message alone will elicit hate-mail from a gaggle of sisters who proudly label themselves "strong black women." Many will not even read the piece, they'll just erupt. Others will read, but still refuse self-criticism. Most will simply respond with neck-rolls and accusations that I am, at best, a sexist or, at worst - I just hate black women.

According to them, this "hatred" is no doubt the result of a troubled childhood, bad relationship with my mother, or some other psychological dysfunction. It could also be the result of deep- seated personal insecurity - just plain old weakness. Hence, because I am weak (like most black men are in their eyes) I can't deal with the fact that they are strong. I fear them, envy them . . . just can't handle them. I may just be a crazy male chauvinist pig who is frustrated by the fact that black women are making such great strides in the world. Hence, I've joined the cadre of plain old "black woman haters."

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I'm Tired of Today's "Strong Black Women" – A Tribute to Coretta Scott King [From Main Page]

Recently Coretta Scott King, a real strong black woman, died. Yes, yes - Coretta was strong. She earned the title. While the subject used to be taboo, it is no great secret now that she endured years of marital infidelity. This does not diminish Martin as a historical icon. It does, however, force us to realize that the King's marriage was less than perfect. No matter. There are things greater than Coretta simply "staying."




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Coretta Scott King



While the subject used to be taboo, it is no great secret now that she endured years of marital infidelity. This does not diminish Martin as a historical icon. It does, however, force us to realize that the King's marriage was less than perfect. No matter. There are things greater than Coretta simply "staying."[/align]


Oh, yes - she was much more than a much put-upon wife. She was really a strong black woman. Close your eyes, picture her.Statuesque, beautiful, intelligent, poised. Full of grace, class, and overflowing with strength. It was this strength and dedication to a cause, not just a man, which led her to lead a march of more than fifty thousand people through the streets of Memphis just four days after her husband was shot dead in the same city. Strong! Later in 1968, Coretta took Martin's place in the Poor People'sMarch to Washington. She didn't miss a beat. Her struggle continued. Strong! The following year, she traveled to Britain and preached at St. Paul's Cathedral - becoming one of the first, if not the first woman to do so. Strong!
Today, more often than not, many black women use the "strong black woman" label as little more than an excuse to be nasty for no reason. Coretta did something. She was gentle, graceful and kind. And you never heard her screaming about being strong, even though she was. Learn from her.

Carrying a Prada bag doesn't make you strong. Sitting outside of or searching your boyfriend's house for proof that he's cheating,or mastering the art of speaking with the most acerbic tongue possible doesn't make you strong.Emasculating your mate or leaving him because he resists emasculation doesn't make youstrong. Getting married and having babies doesn't make you strong. Watching Girlfriends and Oprah or zoning out on every piece of fictionalized foolishness written by E. Lynn Harris, Omar Tyree, Terry McMillan, Zane and a host of others doesn't make you strong.

Talking down to waitresses doesn't make you strong. Joining the "Black Women's Group Narcissistic Personality Disorder Club" doesn't make you strong. Ethic of this club? - "Black women are doing everything right and if these dumb, lazy ass black men would just get themselves together - everything would be okay." Oh, yes -demonizing every black man who happens to date a white woman doesn't make you strong either. Sorry.

Now that's not saying black men are doing everything right. God knows were not. I'm just saying that there is an ever so slight, miniscule, infinitesimal possibility that today's black women have some growing to do too.

Coretta Scott King was strong. Harriet Tubman, with her long-nosed pistols and nerves of steel, was strong. Ida B. Wells-Barnett, with her sharp political mind, bottomless well of courage and blistering pen, was strong. Bespectacled, beautiful, unbossed and unbought Shirley Chisholm, with her strategy and commitment, was strong.

Harriet Jacobs was strong. Sojourner Truth was strong. Sheila Jackson Lee is strong. Cynthia McKinney is strong. Maxine Waters is strong. Ruby Dee is strong. Feel me?

So, to all you so-called strong black women - I've got no problem with you claiming the title . . . as long as you earn it. Hell, somebody had to say it. Much love, Coretta.

Remember, until next time - have no fear, stay strong, stand on truth, do justice, and do not leave the people in the hands of fools."

Dr. Ricky L. Jones is Associate Professor and Chair of the Department of Pan-African Studies at the University of Louisville.His LEO column appears in the last issue of each month.The "Message to the People" is a monthly commentary published in the Louisville Eccentric Observer (LEO). LEO is free and available at hundreds of locations throughout Louisville. It can also be read on-line at http://www.leoweekly.com. All comments on the "Message to the People", good or bad, are welcomed by the author. Comments should be sent to blackvanguard@hotmail.com

[***This article was sent to us by Mike Ramey***]

MIKE RAMEY is the author of THE MANHOOD LINE. A monthly, syndicated column written for men, from a biblical, business, and common sense perspective. This column appears on fine websites around the world. To correspond, drop an email to the following address: manhoodline@yahoo.com. ©2006 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications International.

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you love drama...
dont you....
hmmm
you aint happy if things aint jumping off

I'm all for hailing a woman as strong but I think the tone of this article was way off base and disrespectful to women who HAVE earned the titlle. throwing in the "i don't have a problem if..." line at the end doesn't make it any better.

In my humble opinion, this is just some unecessary garbage written by a bitter dude who was proberbly wronged by some "strong black woman" last week. Foolishness.

To be honest, even as a female, i sort of feel some of what this author is saying. Alot of today's black woman annoy me to no end. Every time there is problem in the black community everyone usually points the finger at the black man. But its about time that someone pointed out some of the flaws in today's black women. The so called "strong black women" or "independent women"label has been used and misused by black women who certainlydo not deserve it. I think that alot of blackwomen mistake being overly talkative, overly agressive as someone who is strong, when really they are just loud and controlling. Its not only black men who are alwayscausing problemsin relationships, sometimes black women can be at fault too. Alot of black women attempt to point the finger at black men, but yet when they themselves are put to the fire they will never own up to their flaws, and try to say thatsoand so is a sexist.

DSP/forum; well you better give your popcorn index a wipe down...because I'm going to propose an different view of Mrs Kings behaviour...

It could be equally argued that Corretta Scott King wasn't a 'strong' woman, she was in factlike Jackie Kennedy a doormat, a slave to her husbands role in society and held prisoner to the pressure to maintain their public perception...

I would further argue that if Mrs King had been in a marriage of the late 20th or 21st Century, she would have acted very different to the discovery that her husband was a serial adulterer with European women..

Take away the name, and the circumstances of their marriage, and tell me..what advice would we here on BNV give to any BLACK woman on the advice section, who came here and announced that their partner/husband had several flings with unknown women in hotels to the full knowledge of shared friends and work colleagues...

I know for damned sure we would not be calling any such woman STRONG if she eitherforgave that behaviour or accepted it.. we would quite rightly call her a fool and a doormat...tell me I'm wrong? We Assume she didn't turn her husband inside out because of his position within America, but it could also just be that Dr King married her knowing that she was already the type of person who would turn a blind eye to his weaknesses...did anyone ever consider that?

^^^^ different way of looking at it......I often wonder the same about Rita Marley.



I must say parts of the article do ring true for many black women.......but he does seem to be a tad one sided.

My comments:

1- It has never been proven that Dr. King had these 'affairs with European women'.

2- One horrible sign of the times is the attacks that latter generations are heaping upon our leaders- people who have paid the price for the quality of life we all enjoy today.

3- The definition of a strong black woman has been twisted by popular culture and we have done very little to combat it. We applaud "Make me feel gooooood!!!" behavior and then feel proud when the whites give our women awards for acting like slaves. We use phrases such as "real bitch" "the realest bitch" and so on to signify that this is the mentality PAR EXCELLENCE, as if loud talking, neck and eye rolling, cursing, and running about looking like a partially clad cave woman has anything to do with being real, black, or strong. I don't like the author's tone but I agree with some of what he says.