COZ asks sister to take the lead since the Black Male is failing. - Page 8

Prince Hakeem · (#176 (**permalink**))

ac9311 wrote:

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My wifes nephews girlfriend was one of the girlson one of those tapes. She is the stereotypical black teen girl. Parents are ignorant. She got pregnant at 17 (last year) by my wifes nephew.He toois repeating the cycle.Fathered a child out of wedlock just like his absent sperm donor father.

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T

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he man who rasied him (so-called stepfather) was/is a poor example of a man. This story has been written so many times in our community and at some point we have to be shocked into reality.That's why I have no problem with everything Bill Cosby is saying. I've seen the problems up close and personal.

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What kills me is that when someone so much as scolds these kids when they see them misbehaving, their 'parents' blow a fuse! One of my neighbours tried to discipline his out of control niece when she was a bit younger but the mother (his sister) kept telling him to mind his own business and how she didn't like him telling her daughter off.

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Now thatthis same girl is five months pregnant at 15, the mother wants to seek help from him but he's like 'well, when I tried to be an uncle to my niece you didn't like it, now you come asking me for assistance?' confused3It's such a typical scenario all around us.

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Gmahogany · (#177 (**permalink**))

ac9311 wrote:

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Our situation is so complex. As so many of you have pointed out there are various areasin which we should focus our attention. Personally It is my job to make sure that my 3 sons learn everything they can from me about how to deal with this world before they leave my our house. Too many times I see these new millennium black parents who are friends with their children.

It has to start in the home first. It doesn't matter if there is a single mother or a married couple.Therehave always beensingle mothers in our community. Manyhave done a great job rearing boys and girls.For some reason there is too much focus placed on consumerism and being cool. We have to roll our behavior back to a time in this country where we had repect for each other andhadour neighbors back.

Many of you may have seen these fight tapes that have been shown on the news this past week from Arlington TX in which black kids would stagedstreet fights and film them. There was atown hall meeting Tuesday night and a young brother that goes to one of the high schools where this was happening stood up and said "all ofyou parentssaid when you grow up that you aren't going to do what your parents did. That you aren't going to discipline your kids like you were disciplined.Our behavior is the result of you not rasing us like your parents raised you".

As the saying goes from the mouth of babes.

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Very true. There is an assumption that the problem is only with single Black mothers, or that people of a certain educational/economic background automatically know what they are doing, but thats not true. You'd be suprised at what people don't know,lol. That's why I said I've seen the phenomenon in 2 parent Black households. Many of the kids I worked with when I was counseling kids. were from 2 parent Black households, MIDDLE CLASS households, at that. A lot of Black parents, after the Civil Rights movement, didn't want their kids to have it hard, struggle, etc, which is cool, but they also overindulged them, and spoiled them in many instances. Pointedly didnt tell them about the struggles of before, or discplline them to any degree, THAT was huge mistake..

Abissinia · (#178 (**permalink**))

Prince Hakeem wrote:

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blkthumbsupIf BN had an archive section this thread should be in it....definitely one of the best and most honest in BN history.

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..............

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Agreed. As good asthe "Lenny Henry a sellout" threadlast year.

Jasel · (#179 (**permalink**))

There's another topic on this in the village section that is like 6 pages long. It's so full of quotes and so off-topic however it's pretty much ruined.

Anyway I think there are too many blacks in the U.S. who expect everyone to spoonfeed and wipe their asses for them at this point. So I'm pretty sure the message won't get across.

I honestly feel alot of Cosby's frustration when he talks about how blacks are doing today. At some point I think it could be said whites were the ones holding us back but now I think the majority of it is just ourselves. And we're quick as hell to blame our problems on everyone else yet won't admit that some of that blame should be on our shoulders.

And like I said in the other topic I definetly disagree with his stance that black women are somehow the answer. Many have as much common sense as alot of clueless black males in this country. A man doesn't just impregnate a woman when she's not looking.

Empire · (#180 (**permalink**))

I agree but a lot of black americans do realize theres a problem but it takes a lot to fix them. Black men love to put the blame on th black women at least in the U.S. in my opinion.

ac9311 · (#181 (**permalink**))

Gmahogany wrote:

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ac9311 wrote:

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Our situation is so complex. As so many of you have pointed out there are various areasin which we should focus our attention. Personally It is my job to make sure that my 3 sons learn everything they can from me about how to deal with this world before they leave my our house. Too many times I see these new millennium black parents who are friends with their children.

It has to start in the home first. It doesn't matter if there is a single mother or a married couple.Therehave always beensingle mothers in our community. Manyhave done a great job rearing boys and girls.For some reason there is too much focus placed on consumerism and being cool. We have to roll our behavior back to a time in this country where we had repect for each other andhadour neighbors back.

Many of you may have seen these fight tapes that have been shown on the news this past week from Arlington TX in which black kids would stagedstreet fights and film them. There was atown hall meeting Tuesday night and a young brother that goes to one of the high schools where this was happening stood up and said "all ofyou parentssaid when you grow up that you aren't going to do what your parents did. That you aren't going to discipline your kids like you were disciplined.Our behavior is the result of you not rasing us like your parents raised you".

As the saying goes from the mouth of babes.

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Very true. There is an assumption that the problem is only with single Black mothers, or that people of a certain educational/economic background automatically know what they are doing, but thats not true. You'd be suprised at what people don't know,lol. That's why I said I've seen the phenomenon in 2 parent Black households. Many of the kids I worked with when I was counseling kids. were from 2 parent Black households, MIDDLE CLASS households, at that. A lot of Black parents, after the Civil Rights movement, didn't want their kids to have it hard, struggle, etc, which is cool, but they also overindulged them, and spoiled them in many instances. Pointedly didnt tell them about the struggles of before, or discplline them to any degree, THAT was huge mistake..

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All of the kids in the fight tapes were from middle class neighborhoods and a very good school district. They were staging these fight in fast food restaurants and in each others neighborhoods. Most of these kids come from two parent homes. The reason I know is because the kids were identified and the parents were interviewed. If you were to walk around the mall that is close to this neighborhood wherethis happened you would be shocked and sadened by the language and behavoir.My wife and I stick very close to our sons. We talkto them about everything.No subject is off limits. Itook them to a state and federal penitentary four years ago. They hadvery candid conversations with the men and women prisoners. They talked with the guards and got a chance to sit in a cell with the doors closed.They were even shown the type of food the prisoners eat. To this day they still talk about that. I refuse to let the streets rear my children. There alot of days where I am the most unliked person in the house, butone day they will thank me for it.

ac9311 · (#182 (**permalink**))

Prince Hakeem wrote:

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ac9311 wrote:

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My wifes nephews girlfriend was one of the girlson one of those tapes. She is the stereotypical black teen girl. Parents are ignorant. She got pregnant at 17 (last year) by my wifes nephew.He toois repeating the cycle.Fathered a child out of wedlock just like his absent sperm donor father.

Quote:

T

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he man who rasied him (so-called stepfather) was/is a poor example of a man. This story has been written so many times in our community and at some point we have to be shocked into reality.That's why I have no problem with everything Bill Cosby is saying. I've seen the problems up close and personal.

Quote:

What kills me is that when someone so much as scolds these kids when they see them misbehaving, their 'parents' blow a fuse! One of my neighbours tried to discipline his out of control niece when she was a bit younger but the mother (his sister) kept telling him to mind his own business and how she didn't like him telling her daughter off.

Quote:

Now thatthis same girl is five months pregnant at 15, the mother wants to seek help from him but he's like 'well, when I tried to be an uncle to my niece you didn't like it, now you come asking me for assistance?' confused3It's such a typical scenario all around us.

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I know exactly what you mean. I have been with my wife since her nephew was 8, he is 21 now.I tried early to step in and feel the void. Because I saw that his step father was a weak ass man. His biological father would run from job to job just to keep from paying child support. I was politely told to mind my own business. Although when they needed someone to pick him up from school, they had no problem asking me. For two years I left my job in the middle of the day, drove across townpicked this boy up and dropped him off at his grandmothers house. I used that time to plant seeds where I could, but it takes more than30 minutes per day to rear a child.

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King Capo · (#183 (**permalink**))

Empire wrote:

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I agree but a lot of black americans do realize theres a problem but it takes a lot to fix them. Black men love to put the blame on th black women at least in the U.S. in my opinion.

What makes you think blackmen are putting the blame on the black woman?

Taysense · (#184 (**permalink**))

meh.. it doesn't take a genius to figure out AA males are phucked to the core. Forget college statistics, because college doesn't measure character and ability.

What's more troubling is this lazy attitude and inability to work and earn a buck that close to70% of AA malesseem to have.

Blue collar or whit collar makes no difference, as long as you're being a real man, learning to analyze shakespear does nothing to uplift your community.

The only real solution is to forcefullyround every newborn AA male from single mother householdsand house them in a boarding school, where they aretaughthow to develope into menand isolated from popular culture until they are 18. Good chance they'll be housed in jail when their older anyways.

Forget affirmitive action, i'm pretty sureif AA's pressured the government hard enough, there could be state funding for it. From an economic point of view, it would save them(government) a lot of money that would otherwise be going to housing prisoners, insteadthe moneyis used tocreate decent citizens.

Cosby's speech about women stepping upis great, but the truth is, no matter how much women accomplish, if AA males are not at the same level or higher, then AA community is a failed community.

Another thing that irritates me, is thisdestructive prototype AA male seems to be spreading his influence to newly immigrated Africans, and you see the same lazy behaviour in some Africans today who are fresh off the boat.

Bottom line, mental conditioning goes a long way.

King Capo · (#185 (**permalink**))

Taysense wrote:

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meh.. it doesn't take a genius to figure out AA males are phucked to the core. Forget college statistics, because college doesn't measure character and ability.

What's more troubling is this lazy attitude and inability to work and earn a buck that close to70% of AA malesseem to have.

Blue collar or whit collar makes no difference, as long as you're being a real man, learning to analyze shakespear does nothing to uplift your community.

The only real solution is to forcefullyround every newborn AA male from single mother householdsand house them in a boarding school, where they aretaughthow to develope into menand isolated from popular culture until they are 18. Good chance they'll be housed in jail when their older anyways.

Forget affirmitive action, i'm pretty sureif AA's pressured the government hard enough, there could be state funding for it. From an economic point of view, it would save them(government) a lot of money that would otherwise be going to housing prisoners, insteadthe moneyis used tocreate decent citizens.

Cosby's speech about women stepping upis great, but the truth is, no matter how much women accomplish, if AA males are not at the same level or higher, then AA community is a failed community.

Another thing that irritates me, is thisdestructive prototype AA male seems to be spreading his influence to newly immigrated Africans, and you see the same lazy behaviour in some Africans today who are fresh off the boat.

Bottom line, mental conditioning goes a long way.

Don't make me laugh Sun