Leaving Home

Soulstarr · (#1 (**permalink**))

For those of you who no longer live with your parents/guardians, what were your experiences of leaving home for the first time?

What was it like to have your own space that you we're responsible for?

Did you miss being at home or did you enjoy the whole experience?

Did you move out alone or with a partner or friends?

Just wondering cos I would like to find my own place in the near(ish) future but not too sure what to expect from the whole experience. I know these things aren't all about the exciting part of the experience!

Bacoo · (#2 (**permalink**))

Soulstarr wrote:

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For those of you who no longer live with your parents/guardians, what were your experiences of leaving home for the first time?

What was it like to have your own space that you we're responsible for?

Did you miss being at home or did you enjoy the whole experience?

Did you move out alone or with a partner or friends?

Just wondering cos I would like to find my own place in the near(ish) future but not too sure what to expect from the whole experience. I know these things aren't all about the exciting part of the experience!

It was great, I left home at 18 and got an apartment a new job and started working and paying of my university classes. Every man needs to do it.

Blackthought · (#3 (**permalink**))

The exciting part

Damn good feeling...

Turning the key to your place.. with no one sweating you.

The not so exciting part..

Bills.. bills..bills... they are never late to arrive

Mokele Mbembe · (#4 (**permalink**))

Soulstarr wrote:

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For those of you who no longer live with your parents/guardians, what were your experiences of leaving home for the first time?

I left in animosity because I was messing up and had to go. At first I was angry and annoyed, then I saw the plus side. For a young person the freedom thing feels great and you do get a feeling of being all grown up lol

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It's short lived!

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When I moved I was one of the first of my friends to do so and so for that reason everybody was always at my place. The feeling of popularity is good for a while but it's pure using you business as you know. As people got older got their own places, got married etc that sorta thing wanes off and you rarely get guests now though two or three times a week my yard is still to this day full of mans playing PS2 till 3 in the morn.

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You're a bit older than I was and I reckon some of your friends have already had places for a while so you might avoid that sudden fake friends bit... if not... watch out!

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What was it like to have your own space that you we're responsible for?

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HARD! Funny enough I was kinda messy and slobby at parents house but once on my own became a control freak and fussed over everything. Nothing ever satisfys and I always want to improve or buy a new version of everything.

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The bills come thick and fast and the things you're responsible for mount up quickly. At first this can become stressful... you will be wondering how you will make ends meet. SS you truly will find your lifestyle will slow down and change. You will be less able to go out all the time for example. There are just SO MANY damn bills!

Did you miss being at home or did you enjoy the whole experience?

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I missed my parents yeah. I missed the cooking and having somebody wake me up and generally care where I was. When I lived with my parents I would phone them up and say where I was and that... now nobody really gives a damn where I am. That's great at first but disconcerting after some thought.

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When I lived with my mum sure I would cook occasionally.... when you live alone you gotta do it all the time and it's just you. You won't be able to afford take outs all the time either so don't go thinking that. It really becomes an annoying chore if you let it

Did you move out alone or with a partner or friends?

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At first I roomed with people. This has it's good points and bad points. You need to experience living with other people I feel because it taught me about compromise and learning to give a little. However I had a whole string of nightmare roomates, from slobs to slags, from smokers to pet owners... you'll be better off with your own place.

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One thing though is the loneliness. I lived with roommates and stuff about four years and alone in various places about five years now. You DO get lonely. It's good to have time to think and just be... but it's lonely.

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I have had girlfriends live with me before but never moved into a place of "ours" with them so I can't give advice on how that would be. As for having people living with me I'm used to idiosynchrysies and oddities so I'm kinda alright that way

Just wondering cos I would like to find my own place in the near(ish) future but not too sure what to expect from the whole experience. I know these things aren't all about the exciting part of the experience!

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Go for it sis, and be optimistic. All round it's a good experience and part of your growth. I have had bad experiences but would NEVER go back and never look back. Everything I have learned in hindsight has benefitted me.

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It's not necessary though so don't feel pressured into it; if you can bear staying at home a few more years while saving a deposit to buy a flat then do that. It will be harder once you're paying rent and trying to get a mortgage.

Prince Hakeem · (#5 (**permalink**))

When I was living on my own it was wicked. The only thing I didn't like was the bills and my aunties showing up unexpected when my flat was unclean.

Apart from that it was great....Bredrins used to pass by all the time andweused to play nuff music, watch kungfu flicks, eat takeaways, play video games etc. PlusI used to haveNUFF gal up in the yard and the things we used to get up to.....rotflmao...those were the days, man. banana.gif

Soulstarr · (#6 (**permalink**))

@DM: Thanx for the detailed account! Most of which is stuff i was pretty much expecting. I'm moving out temporarily next week but thats only till a few things in my life have settled down and straightned out. As for permanently, that wont be till the winter at least. The options are Me+Boyfriend or Me+Bestfriend+Boyfriend+Bestfriends Boyfriend. At the moment, I think the latter would be more beneficial to all parties involved having just finished uni etc...

@PH: How come your story never sound like there was responsibility involved!! Stop giving me false hope!!

ac9311 · (#7 (**permalink**))

I moved out at 18. My parents moved to Arizona and I decided that I didn't want to go. I shared my first apartment with a guy that I worked with. We got evicted within 6 months. Me being the naive trusting 18 year old I gave him my half of the rent in cash he got high and didn't pay bills. After that I lived by myself. It was GREAT, except for the mountain of bills. It seemed like they came two days after I paid them.

Advice:

Dont' move in with your boyfriend and the best friends boyfriend. That is a recipe for disaster. That too many roosters in the hen house.

Don't move out with any outstanding debt, i.e. credit cards student loans (if possible) car payments etc. You'll need at leasta year to get use to paying rent and utilities anddebt will only causealot of stress.

Put 10%- 15%of your paycheck in aretirement fundbefore you pay any bills. Always pay yourself before you pay anyone else. This cannot be overstated.

Live on less than you earn.

Before you move save 3 months gross salary as an emergency fund. At a bare minimum have $1000.00 in savings. You can always add to it until you obtain three months of gross salary.

Before you move create a spending plan (budget). Be realistic about what you can really afford. Only spend a maximum of45% of your take home (net)pay for rent. If youcan find a nice place for less that would be a bonus, more money for savings.

Enjoy the experience it is a freedom that cannot be explained. There is nothing like coming home to your own place for the first time and no one can tell you what to do.

The first thing I did when I got myapartment by myself was turn on all of the lights and leave them onlisten for my father to complain about me leaving the lights on. I laughed about that one for days.

Abissinia · (#8 (**permalink**))

I really enjoyed the first few years of leaving home, my dadstill paidmy bills and gaveme pocket moneyweekly and i also had a part time job

. I was a rich teenager lol.

Soul Starrmake sure you have a little money saved up for rainy days and also make sure you have a job that pays well. If not stay at home until you feel comfortable enough to face theresponsibilities which are many

.

I definitely don't think it's necessarytosharewith other couples, and moving out alone is a definite no no, from my experience it's much easier when you have someone to share the bills and the experience with.I think if both of you have a good steady income coming in and have somecapital saved then that should be enough. But if you can wait a bitlonger you could save up and buy your own home instead of renting.

Don't let the bills scare you thou, having your own home is a fantastic thing andsharing it withsome one you love is evenbetter, so when you guys are ready go for it.

Soulstarr · (#9 (**permalink**))

Its nice to hear so many positive accounts as opposed to negative accounts which is all I seem to get from other people these days lol.