Is the black relationship in crisis? State of the Black UK debate!

Kunjufu · (#1 (**permalink**))

I was just out shopping with the wife as you....when i happened across the voice newspaper..on its cover it states, no screams that the BLACK RELATIONSHIP is in trouble.. whilst i was tempted to buy the paper to read on, i resisted, as i felt it was crap...

However i would like to gauge the views of BNVers as to their views... Do you think the Black relationship between man & woman is in crisis... and if so what in your opinion is the causes of this supposed breakdown and what would you do to mend it...?

Judge J · (#2 (**permalink**))

I read a bit of the article. One thing I took from it was the fact that many of our young people had been turned off from each other because of there parents, i.e. mother cussing black fathers etc.

Prince Hakeem · (#3 (**permalink**))

The 'black' relationship ain't in no blouse and skirt "crisis" nothing. I see 'black' couples everywhere. Granted we have our issues, but the Voice newspaper isn't to be taken seriously at all. Too many of us in the media carry on with all types of sensationalism just to get attention and everytime it's to the detriment of our own.

Yes the media deliberately plays a HUGE role in undermining African relationships and so do all these whitified 'black' british celebrities, however what I SEE is African relationships in abundance regardless of what any over emotional and misinformed person wants to tell me. It's a Saturday afternoon, go down Dalston, Wood Green, Brixton, Tottenham, Harlesden etc and tell me if me ah chat sh*t....

Incognito · (#4 (**permalink**))

I would say where it is in crisis it needs to be that way for others to make themselves looks good. Also where it is in crisis it's seen as normal so wouldn't be recognised as a crisis.

Suppose we need to define crisis, does a dozen half brothers and sisters count or a baramoeter or only if the half siblings come from the mothers side maybe, how about having to keep women or men on the side?

It's a bit like the argument about black crime, it's a minority who are guilty, but a significant minority....in this sense maybe it's easier to define what a non crisis relationship is.

And please no comparing with other races, if that can be used as evidence you might as well say Trisha Goddard is simply exposing the trashy side of white society as her way of saying stop picking on blacks, we are normal

Where there is no common culture a crisis is inevitable.

Prince Hakeem · (#5 (**permalink**))

Well, true but my point was that 'black' relationships aren't heading for extinction as many of our people would have you believe. I have also seen many African families outside of so called 'urban' areas like Luton, Milton Keynes, Cardiff and so forth not as much as London of course but thery're out there.

Mind you I don't walk around with rose tinted spectacles and I'm fully aware of our problems, but I just think sometimes we tend to over exaggerate our issues and that also has an effect on the psyche of young people in our community.

Mezmerized · (#6 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by *~Virgo~*

I do not think it is in crisis yet, but it is moving in that direction for the black british community. African relationships are still very much thriving.

Ok, now this is my view on it. There have been +ve images of black women (finally) in the media through movies, and now even adverts and we all know how strong the media is. Although most of them are mixed race, there have been full black ones as well and most white people cant tell the difference anyway. A lot of white guys now would not mind having a black girlfriend. when I was growing up, I never saw any. Now I see quite a few and it makes me smile :-) becos black women are finally realizing they have a choice and don't have to sit round waiting for Mr. perfect black man, but rather Mr Perfect man. As for black me, they've always been dating interracially and as im not a man,cant say much. Although, I was having dinner with my girlfriends some weeks ago and her mate, this black guy came over to join us. he was talking to her about this girl he was seeing and goes.... 'to be honest, im tired of black women'. I tried to understand where he was coming from but I had had a bit to drink so it was a bit hard for me to understand as he wasnt being straight foward.

In my experience, there is a difference b/w dating a black and dating a white man. I preferre black men to be honest but have not dated one in a while because they're never straight with me and its just hard work. There was one i met a couple of weeks ago, we were talking and getting to know each other, and he messed me about a little, prolly not intentional but im like, I can't do this. To date a black man, he has to be open minded, completely honest, very decent, and have some form of direction in his life.

I strongly support black relationships, but support interracial ones as well as. White men tend to hit on me a lot and as im not fussy, it just happens so I dont think black relationships being dying out is a choice, it just happens because people are letting their guards down and realizing we're all human beings.

This is just too funny...i think you just need some luuuvvveee, u poor thing.

Agu Bu Oji · (#7 (**permalink**))

Quote:

The 'black' relationship ain't in no blouse and skirt "crisis" nothing. I see 'black' couples everywhere. Granted we have our issues, but the Voice newspaper isn't to be taken seriously at all. Too many of us in the media carry on with all types of sensationalism just to get attention and everytime it's to the detriment of our own.

Second the above.... although it may have been prompted by the spate of teen murders, shows that theres something wrong with the family unit there it has to be said.

We (us breddahs) do get badmouthed with this whole baby father thing going on. Single parents passing their issues onto their children blaming the absentee parent etc like its a black thing... hopefully the shannon case resolved that one with a few people.

alabamagirl · (#8 (**permalink**))

What a disgusting post that was she had.

alabamagirl · (#9 (**permalink**))

Thank God she's been banned.

huzzah · (#10 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Judge J

I read a bit of the article. One thing I took from it was the fact that many of our young people had been turned off from each other because of there parents, i.e. mother cussing black fathers etc.

I can remember people saying this when I was younger, but many woman will cuss their husbands regardless of race.

I dont think there's a crisis...yet, but there is an underlying attitude thats changed over the years and I think it happened somewhere during the late 90s. In the late eighties early 90s most young black people would be proud to be black - it was reflected in our clothes, music lifestyle etc. But then something went wrong and I cant put my finger on it, but the attitude changed to "if you want to get on in life you must conform...".

I put the blame on the British media for having representations of black couples. And people will say it was more racist back in the day but I would say its just as bad but more covert.

When the BNP and NF were marching down our streets we had, on prime time television programs like Empire Road, Fosters, Ebony, No Problem, Real McKoy etc? These days NF is dead and the BNP is all but in-effective and what do we have to show for it...?

Agu Bu Oji · (#11 (**permalink**))

Quote:

I can remember people saying this when I was younger, but many woman will cuss their husbands regardless of race.

Not in the same way I've noticed some speak against us, others don't tend to generalize so much, a caucasian woman will hardly blame her race for her troubles but theres a stigma when it comes to us, perpetuated by the media of course. Its not a personal issue its suddenly ALL black men and ALL black women, perhaps us being right brained peoples we see things differently to that effect but it doesn't help.

Prince Hakeem · (#12 (**permalink**))

Quote:

Originally Posted by Melissa

I agree, there was a report a few years back that 50% of black people in the UK were in interracial relationships, (maybe in The Voice again) and i believed it, until i came on here and you all told me it was bs. I looked around a bit more and actually saw the opposite. I realised that I obviously noticed the IR relationships more because its not normal to me, so the '50%' was so far off the mark.

And just remember the so called 'voice' is the same newspaper who claimed that young 'blacks' in the UK are in danger of being totally wiped out because of gun crime!!! That alone shows you the mentality behind that rag.

Also that '50%' statistic is total bull because as I've mentioned before why hasn't the percentage increased or decreased over the years ever since it came out in the 90s???? All it is, they interview a small number of people then use it as a total figure for the entire African community. We have to be smart and see through their b.s. We have to remember the UK feels threatened by the stable African unit and will do anything to undermine it.

And yes one of their tools as Huzzah mentioned is the media. You'll NEVER see a film like Burning an Illusion in 2008. Never. They just wouldn't allow it. All our music videos, shows, films etc have the compulsory bluefoot or at best a mixed race girl as the love interest of an African, no matter what the story is. Someone made a good point recently regarding Eastenders in that you notice how they have a new fully stable and cultured Asian family who stick to their roots and still manage to get along with the locals just fine - even the daughter is being hooked up with an Asian man - yet they have characters like Denise and all them shaggin every bluefoot in sight and even an elder like Patrick had to go and cheat on his wife with that ugly Pat. This is just one example of many.

I think highlighting to our children the tactics the media uses should open our eyes. Back in the 1980s during the New Cross March we had no problem exposing the media for their anti African tactics, so why not do it in this day and age despite their different strategies?